Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were
to live forever. - Mahatma Gandhi. This is the quote on my
little daily calendar for July 2, 2002 (Today)
I finally took the courage to call Rob again yestersday
afternoon. And obviously, he was being firmed about the
whole thing and wasn't willing to talk to me at all. I am
going crazy and I only wish I can have dialogue with him
without being shutted down by him. I've got to find ways to
express my thinking to you and thanks to this online diary
things where I can write my thoughts down.
I haven't had this same feeling for a guy for the longest
time. I can name all the good things about Rob and I still
think he is the person that I could spend the rest of my
life with. I understand that he is angry, why would a
woman that I was once considering marrying would hurt me
like this. Please stand up for us, for yourself and for me.
One life is to live, I remember among all the great
conversations that we had, we chatted about how we would
expect on a relationship. I know we both having the
attitude to tough things up and move on with my life, there
is no doubt aobut it and I am not wondering either of our
abibilites on doing this. Instead, why coúldn't we have
the abibilities to conquer this obstacle this time. I was
really angry once over the weekend, not to you, not to
myself , but for the situation that we are in now.
Take a deep breath, and relax. The situation isn't as bad
as you think. I don't whatever I say now would not make a
difference for what I've said or done. I tell myself that I
just have to live with it and learn a big lesson from this.
It is hard... very hard... my heart really hurts. I think
yours is the same.
There were many things that we talked about doing together.
We haven't even started any of them yet. Give each other a
Don't let this to beaten up each other. Again, I think you
are just going to do fine as you were. I could not accept
the fact that all the dreams and plans that we talked about
in the past week could be vanish like this. This it not a
game a all.... I am very regretting about what I have done
and I am sure apologzing to you would not make any
difference to us anymore. Ok.... time to move on. Is this a
mistake that I have made once again, nope, this isn't. I
really enjoyed the very bit moment that I spent with you
over the past week and look forward or wishing to have more
time to spend with you in the future, perhaps this could
only be a dream now.
I want to talk to you.