2001-06-26 05:24:08 (UTC)

are you weary as water.... a faucet left dripping.. with the incessant sadness..
like a sad record skipping..."

I remember I was going to write something else. Fiesal
came up to me at work today... I was going to the
bathroom.. and hes like "hey" all smiling... and I was
like.. hey.. and I was really nice to him.. but like, just
in the 4 minutes standing there talking to him, it made me
really sad in a way and proud in another.. like looking at
him just talking, like when you look at someones eyes...
his are totally vacant. like hes not there... hes so gone
and he doesnt even care or even realize... and it made me
proud that im not like that.. and sad for him... it felt

it was like with my dad... i feel bad for him.. because i
do understand why hes like that, to some degree... but i
also hate him so much, but hes so pathetic, but i hate him,
but it makes me feel bad for him, but i FUCKING HATE HIM
and its soo upsetting the swirl of emotions in my mind, its
worse than just hating someone, i cant explain nevermind.