The Life and Troubles of an Orange Peel!
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2001-06-26 03:40:40 (UTC)

Today was a good day...then it died...

Ok well today was great i went to work and i got home and i
talked to Ashley and we called (3-wayed) Ashley Auge in
Maine...then i got online and talked to Mary, and Libby who
for some reason doesnt talk to me! i have a feeling it has
to do with Sarah M oh well and then WIll and i
got into an argument I'll post it:WaitingBreathing: hey
InsaneGurl501: hi
WaitingBreathing: what's up?
InsaneGurl501: nothin much you?
WaitingBreathing: nothin really, just kinda bored
InsaneGurl501: yah
InsaneGurl501: im not
WaitingBreathing: nah?
InsaneGurl501: i am talking to three people
InsaneGurl501: fun fun
WaitingBreathing: me too now lol
WaitingBreathing: you mary and trika
InsaneGurl501: cool
InsaneGurl501: what are you doing tommorow afternoon?
WaitingBreathing: 430-730 i work
InsaneGurl501: ok well what about 12:00?
InsaneGurl501: pm
WaitingBreathing: i should be back from registration long
b4 then
InsaneGurl501: you go Swiming with Me,Ashley, and maybe
InsaneGurl501: NO SARAH!!
WaitingBreathing: yes
WaitingBreathing: ok
InsaneGurl501: yah!
InsaneGurl501: Ashley doesnt like her either i found that
out today this evening when Ashley and I were talking to
WaitingBreathing: oh ok....
InsaneGurl501: yah
InsaneGurl501: wanna know what we found out?!
WaitingBreathing: whut?
WaitingBreathing: yea
InsaneGurl501: ok..well shes not mad at you and she doesnt
think you "cheating" on her,but there was ONE thing she
wanted to know....
WaitingBreathing: what's htat?
WaitingBreathing: that*
InsaneGurl501: She wants to know what was Sarah doing over
ther when she imed you ?
WaitingBreathing: she was talking to ppl on my sn
InsaneGurl501: anything else?
WaitingBreathing: then i saw auge get on, and i fuckin
jumped at the keyboard
InsaneGurl501: (just for the record)
WaitingBreathing: no, i was sitting, in a different chair,
next to her, if you want proof you can talk to my friend
wennie, whom sarah was talking to at the time
InsaneGurl501: ok..just for the record
InsaneGurl501: im gonna talk to her in the morning at
8:00am so i needed to know
WaitingBreathing: if you see
InsaneGurl501: im not yah i
WaitingBreathing: if she gets on i'll send her ur way
InsaneGurl501: ha ha
WaitingBreathing: if you see leffy the kitty
WaitingBreathing: i wass gonna say
InsaneGurl501: see...I told you i would solve this..and i
did..yuppers i did!
WaitingBreathing: yea
InsaneGurl501: yup!
WaitingBreathing: yea
InsaneGurl501: you not happy?
WaitingBreathing: that this is all being solved yes
WaitingBreathing: but quite frankly, i'm not happy
InsaneGurl501: why?
InsaneGurl501: you not happy?
WaitingBreathing: the fact that i'd have to be interogated
pisses me off
InsaneGurl501: sorry
WaitingBreathing: the fact taht anybody would think i would
do anything liek that offends me
WaitingBreathing: i've lived my life to NOT be that type of
person, to live my life as i choose, and the be the
dependable trustwworthy guy, and it looks like that all
jsut got shot to hell
InsaneGurl501: excuse me! i watched her flirt with you like
there was NO FUCKIN TOMMORW and I watched you sit there and
let it happen!
WaitingBreathing: and that's all it was, flirting, like i
always do, like the person that i am, a flirt, but flirting
doesn't get questioning from friends and your girlfried of
what you were doing with somebody over at ur house
WaitingBreathing: i flirt with everybody, you ashley libby
mary, hell i flirt with grube, that's as far as it goes, or
ever will go
WaitingBreathing: because that's what i am, and that's who
i am, and i can't really change that
WaitingBreathing: your response is much appreciated, one
way or the other, it'll come out in the end, might as while
bitch at me now
InsaneGurl501: ive never seen you flirt like that thats for
sure and she just.....nother mind..ok?! i dont need this
shit right just gonna leave this as it is...b/c i
know that i can fight about this all day and it wont get
us/me anywhere b/c i am pretty much fighting a losing
battle b/c i cant argure worth a damn so if you ever want
to make yourself feel good then you can just argue with me
or give me the fuckin "Guilt Trip" b/c i will fall ok i
will and i wont bring you down i will just fall so fuck it
i dont care....ok i just dont care anymore....ok?!
WaitingBreathing: no, it's NOT ok, because you don't need
to be a pushover, you need to learn to trust those worth of
trust, you need to know when to fight and when to not
fight. and i don't need you to have a guilt trip, i need
for my own sanity to know that i didn't fuck things up with
the one person in this world that i would do ANYTHING for,
because if i lose her, i lose everything, i lose my
confidence, i lose my patience, i lose my life, because you
have no idea how i've felt for hte past 26 hours, because i
thought everyhting was my fault and that i had fucked up
the only thing in my life worht saving, then i ralized, i'm
not the only one at fault, and i WON'T be that
WaitingBreathing: i dont' want to fight
WaitingBreathing: i don't want to argue, or to bitch
WaitingBreathing: i want to live my life, and i don't want
to have to wory about if people believe what i say or not
InsaneGurl501: I would love to trust people but i have had
my experiances ok and i dont trust..i just tell everyone
everything this way if they want to do something to me then
they can without having to go through to much
InsaneGurl501: ok...and i had nothing to do with asking
what Sarah was doing there Auge asked me to ask you not me
asking you
WaitingBreathing: well i don't WANT to do ANYTHING to you,
nothing bad, i don't want to be that, i don't try to be
that. but without trust you have nothing, it's not jsut
bout that, it's about everything, everybody seems to
questionw hat i say all of a sudden
WaitingBreathing: this is all a HUGE misunderstanding, on
all parts, that went way too fucking far, that's all it is
and ever will be, i'll willing to shove it as far behind me
as possible, if you'll let me
InsaneGurl501: what you want i wont stop you i will
let you why wouldnt i?
WaitingBreathing: because if you can't do the same it's
WaitingBreathing: because we've already discovered that
when i tried to move past it, and you hadn't that this all
InsaneGurl501: sorry i cant let this go right know b/c...
WaitingBreathing: because of what, because it's happend to
other ppl? because you care about auge and you want to
protect her?
InsaneGurl501: well lets see you wanted me/everyone to tell
you when we are going to tell people stuff about you
you can defend i am gonna talk to auge and yes
it is about you and it IS about the beach
InsaneGurl501: so now you knowq
InsaneGurl501: *know
WaitingBreathing: what else is there even to tell her?
there is just what you saw, which you already told her.
InsaneGurl501: b/c i am probaly more upset then anyone
about it and i needed to tell/talk to someone so im talking
to her and Ashley Stitt
InsaneGurl501: no offense against you but i wanted to talk
to someone that wasnt there so there would be no "picking
InsaneGurl501: if you know what i mean but hat
InsaneGurl501: *that
WaitingBreathing: and my thought is.......why? why should
you be so affected, why? especially since i explained it
InsaneGurl501: it may sound stupid but i really dont know
WaitingBreathing: well you see, that's a problem for me
InsaneGurl501: i mean i dont have a truly specific reason
for why
WaitingBreathing: becuase you talking to auge about it,
means explaingin over and over how big of an asshole i am
InsaneGurl501: ok fine..ill forget it ever happened i will
never talk about it again..I promise never again will i
talk about it
WaitingBreathing: and you'd be right, very right, but i
don't need that, and you don't need to never talk about it,
i just need to understand WHY
InsaneGurl501: b/c i am VERY protective of my friends if it
was up to me i would have it so i could take all my friends
pain and have it given to me so they would nevre have to
feel it!
InsaneGurl501: I cant help it
InsaneGurl501: i am just VERY VERY protective
WaitingBreathing: well I AM YOUR FRIEND!!!!
InsaneGurl501: i know and i am PROTECTIVE!! im sorry i cant
help it just like you cant help flirting...its just what i
WaitingBreathing: and you can't protect somebody from
something that DIDN'T HAPPEND
WaitingBreathing: and when you DO that, it makes me hurt
WaitingBreathing: i spent the last 26 hours praying to god
that i didn't fuck up auge's life along with my own beyond
InsaneGurl501: well you didnt
InsaneGurl501: so be happy atleast about that i didnt fuck
up what you had
InsaneGurl501: /have
WaitingBreathing: you wouldn't
WaitingBreathing: you have nothing but good intentions
WaitingBreathing: never have had anything but good
InsaneGurl501: yah but its those "good" intentions that
have gotten me in trouble!
WaitingBreathing: and you know what? i tried all goddamn
night ot be mad at you, but i coulndn't, you were doing
what i woul do, protecting auge, you just didn't think it
through enough is all
WaitingBreathing: you have to slow down with those i think
InsaneGurl501: no i know this sounds mean but thought it
through for like EVER and i decided that she had a right
to know..and you can call her and let her hear what really
went on then she would be able to understand much better
but since we are putting this behind us you wont so thats
life....(fucked up!)
WaitingBreathing: christina, i'm sorry that any of this
happend at all, i just hope that in a situation of any
nature of this, you'll think things trough more is all
WaitingBreathing: ok
WaitingBreathing: so then i'll tell her my side, and we'll
leave it at that, you can talk to her bout it al you want
to, and but next time, like i said jsut tell me that ur
telling her B4 i fuck things up ok?
InsaneGurl501: ok ill never say anything to anyone about
anything this way i make sure that know one gets hurt i can
do that i have done it for the past 8 i'll just
do that.
WaitingBreathing: NO DON'T do that!!!1
InsaneGurl501: its ok i will im good at it doesnt bother me
this way people might be able to trust me with secrets...
WaitingBreathing: just warn me, that's all i ask
WaitingBreathing: it bothers me
InsaneGurl501: fine
WaitingBreathing: thank you
WaitingBreathing: christina.....
WaitingBreathing: i want to thank you, because you looked
after auge..she needs it, and i need all the help i can
get, although you were saving it from me in this particular
situation...but still your good intentions, i thank you for

Auto response from InsaneGurl501: gone to take out my
contacts brb

WaitingBreathing: ur crying huh?
WaitingBreathing: you only take the out when you cry, i
hope your not though.......
InsaneGurl501: no im not actually my contacts were really
really dry
WaitingBreathing: good to hear
InsaneGurl501: yah

----------------end of convo.-------------------
ok well there it is interestin eh?! yah well i dont know
what else to ill just fo to bed...

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