fake plastic diary
2002-07-01 08:22:10 (UTC)

biggus dickus

stuff that happened on sunday....
hiya. i have absolutely no idea when ur reading this and
suchlike, so i hope u good time kinda thing.
i dont know how anyone can stand going to the gym. if ur
gonna do exercise u may as well do something fun. i couldnt
bear to spend hours on a treadmill. i now what u mean about
zombie ppl. i hate those real bad fitness freaks who have
no life outside the gym. i also think that men who are way
too muscley are just angin. theres nothing wrong with some
muscle obviously, but those real big guys are just scary.
the closest ive come to anything sport related recently was
that i had a dream about three nites ago where i was
running down newhouse road (near my house) and under the
bridge at the bottom of it, and i was actually enjoying
running and not getting tired. then i did get tired and so
i started running in slow motion with big steps so i was
still going a long way. i have ridiculous dreams.
u like laurel and hardy? i take it all back. u have a great
taste in films. but u do watch some crap. hmmmm ur new
associate person sounds like one scary person.
i see what u mean about the weed, but i would still not do
it. petrol does smell gorgeous. id rather sniff petrol than
smoke anything. it would be especially bad to smoke petrol.
ew yep, cola is just crap. oh, u know whats really
nice....have u tried that coke with lemon stuff? it is
soooo nice.
aw yeah jaw lock is just so painful. i hate it. can u put
ur fist in ur mouth? laura (dawn french type person) can.
its her favourite little party trick. well, really she cant
do it properly. she just says she can. its awful to watch.
we took a picture of it and gave it loads of captions which
im sure u can imagine were hilarious.....a fat person
eating their own fist! oh the endless possibilites for
humour. i really dont know why i was ever friends with her.
she is such a liar. once she told us that she met this lad
by falling over his skateboard and landing in a bin. he
fell in love with her and they ended up going out. i mean
come on. thats a bloody likely story. but it gets worse.
nobody ever met this lad, whos name was mike. he refused to
meet us in person cos we sounded immature, nobody ever
talked to him on the internet and basically there was no
evidence to suggest his existance. plus he lived really far
away in two different houses, so we couldnt visit him, but
she could. hmmmm. then one nite when we had this cool
party/campover thing at my house she told us that he had
raped her. yeah, whatever. my friends all believed her at
the time..well, to some extent. she refused to let anyone
help her with stuff like pregnancy test kits and shit. then
they split up. in ridiculous fashion of course. he paid his
best mate to go with her so that he would have a reason to
split up with her. at the time laura had glandular fever
(no she fucking did not. she got the whole plot from this
book that she read and then was stupid enough to lend me)
and the lad caught it from her, so it all had a happy
and i have just gone on with myself for no other reason
than to prove my point that she is crap. my other favourite
lie was this; her mums friend who is a psycology student
came round and told laura that she had borderline
personality disorder. she diagnosed it from a book. laura
refused to believe it and threw the book across the room in
tears. i was just thinking well this truely is a lie. she'd
just read girl interupted and surprise surprise the girl in
the book has....wait for it....borderline personality
disorder! i asked to see this book and she said she didnt
know where it was. i sugested she looked on the floor rite
under the spot on the wall where she'd thrown it.
she really hates me, always has. probably cos i wasnt
interested in her lies and she hates the fact that i can
see right through her but she doesnt know fuck all about
me. she pretends to know so much about everyone but she
doesnt know shit about me. anyway, how did i even get on to
the subject of her? oh yeah! jaws and all that....sorry!
let me get back....
so, pmt.....nope. u just have to put my mood down to me
being moody. no i have no idea why ppl say any who. ive
never been totally pissed either. i dont really see that
its neccessary, if u know what i mean. im stupid enough
without alcohol mking me worse. plus it just seems to
involve ppl doing stuff they regret and being ill.
yesterday i was bored and i realised that i havent read a
book for ages, which is unlike me cos ive always read
loads, ever since i was little. so i read mrs frisby and
the rats of nimh, a book which i have been saying that i
would read for years but never got round to doing. it was
good. i love doing that. just sitting down and reading a
whole book. u don't like reading though do u? today i think
will be crap. i have to go to the opticians with my mother
to help her choose some new glasses. i have to make tea at
home. and my dad asked me to hoover up. god i hate
housework more than anything else in the world.
im going to college tomorrow for an induction day thingy.
that means i have to get up early to catch the bus. i have
never got the bus to school in my life. stupid college
being far away. ah well. cant be helped.
love u loads, from mona lisa. xxx.

well, this was pretty much what i wrote on saturday....
stop confusing me! okay, let me try and sort ur ramblings
into something that makes sense to me. u know some guy who
everyone thinks is a freak or whatever but u think he's
pretty cool so you made friends with him, and now u wanna
impress him and become his best mate. ur goin camping with
him (oh the amusement value) and although you really hope
this guy likes u, u dont wanna look too obvious and
desperate. am i right? so difficult to understand u
sometimes. so is he like someone from school? not that u go
to school like. but u know what i mean.
i dont care either way for the germans, although i wanna go
to germany. im not gonna go into a big speech thing but the
swastica was for purposes of shock and im sorry for ur
anyway, the coke at that place was so angin the vodka was a
great improvement. i dont like bacardi and coke that much
actually. i dont really drink that much at all, and only
ever when im with my friends because its sommat they all
do. i have never smoked weed in my life and i have no
intentions of doing so. i dont even like the smell of it. i
suppose its better than smoking fags cos at least u dont
get cancer and shit but i would still never touch weed or
fags. ew. actually i was pretty pissed off that u think i
would. u should know me better than that. im a decent
chaz took a pic of me when i was asleep this morning. those
are always really bad pictures. and "me" photos are always
crap....when u think its funny to take a picture of urself
and always look like a retard.
u have a real odd taste in films/tv. u like some of the
crappest programmes on tv. no offence meant! but theres
tacky and then theres crap. cliffhanger?! bloody hell.
ive not been very nice in this email, but sorry. im not in
a nice sort of mood. hope u have a good day tomorrow
whatever ur doing. despite my spite i love u loads. xxx.
from the girl who is wearing a green shirt and red dresing
gown with red socks and no navy blue, except for my