life of a porn star
well i havent talked to matt in..
well i havent talked to matt in like5 days and i am feeling
that he has been avioding his computer. well he graduated
the other night so mabey he has been out with his
friends... i dunno but i feel like he got me all excited
that we were gonna hang out and now i feel like he was just
saying that bc he always says stuff like that. so last
night greg called me and wanted to hang out but it was
11:30 and he was still at work. i didnt want to chill with
him ne ways so i was relieved. but ne ways i dont know what
to do about matt, we dont talk on the phone sice last year
and if i ask him to do something and he cant im gonna feel
so bad ya know? then i ca never ask him again bc then i
would be afrad im bothering him. i dont know how to get
close to him even as a friend. if we talk online its like
once every couple weeks. and im still afraid to im him. if
he were ne one else i could just be like lets be friends,
but he is alwas so normal and happy and its hard to gt
close to someone that doesnt have much to open up about
lol. i dont know.
i havent talked to that many people since graduation. i
made plans a couple of timesbut they fell through. so i am
feeling really lonely. its to the point where i go online
and i have no one to talk to. its my own fault though, i
didnt make much of an effort to go to peoples grad parties.
i dunno why, im just so glad to finally be away from some
of those people though lol. but tommarow the summer camp i
work at starts so that will keep me busy. i am so nervous.
i have to swim with these people and play sports and stuf
and i am shy and klutzy, o geez more later lol