I'm a girl, not a band!!!
2002-06-30 22:57:19 (UTC)

A Dream I Actually Remember

I very rarely remember my dreams, but I had one while I was
taking a nap today. It had my close friends from high
school and then some from college as well, and it focused
around my best friend, and the first guy I ever loved.

Chad dated Nicole 3 or 4 times throughout our public school
careers. It was pouring, and Nicole and I were totally
soaked, but wearing clothes. No shoes though. It wasn't
cold, but I was soaking wet. Nicole had 3 guys fighting
over her. Chad was there, and I made some comment how I
looked like shit and there was no way he liked me. And then
he said that he has always liked me, and missed having me
as his friend. We got in an arguement about how friends
told eachother things, and he knew everything about me, but
never told me anything back. He asked what I wanted to
know, and I came up with some answer. By this time we had
reached some school and got in out of the rain. I followed
him and he sat down and we were still yelling at eachother
but now in a more friendly way. And he said that yes, he
wanted to be my friend (god, i'm SUCH a dork!!)and we made

I guess that's my sign from somewhere to realize that there
is no hope with Chad. I guess I had always harbored a tiny
part of my heart that kept the idea that he'd wake up one
day and remember how wonderful I am, alive.

But I think this is okay. There are always things happening
in my life. And I wish him the best....just as I wish the
same for me.