nfinite empyrean

sunshine
2001-06-25 20:25:40 (UTC)

better

well, i know i am getting back to my old self again..and i
love it...you know what i am ...i am in love with
myself!!! i mean i am so darn adorable and can charm any
body....i forgot how persuasive i can be at times...well
anyhoo...this weekend was fun as hell....i met so many damn
people...none of which i will be calling, but it was
fun...i did give my number out to this one guy...his name
is stanley (yeah i know...very bad name) he is so darn
cute...and i must admit i was like ...he ain't shit...but
his conversation didn't match what he looked like...don't
get me wrong...brother was fine...6'5" but he was a little
on the skinny side...pretty hair...caramel
complexed...ooooh he was cool..but he is so into what i am
into...we had this intense discussion on staind and i was
really vibing with him...i didn't get that initial "i am so
into you " vibe but i think he would make an excellent
friend...someone to shoot the shit with..as they say....i
also met this guy named ethan (mission impossible!) he was
cool...but he stays in lansing....so he is out of
limits...but i had fun...it was like i wasn't looking for
anything...and that is so relieving...i just was out there
having fun...would have been more fun if i had more
money!!! but hay i make due with what i have...speaking
of...man i am so proud of myself...i am sticking to my
budget...i canceled my trip to cedar point...i so wanted to
go but i have to get my bills under control....i didn't go
shopping this past weekend...even though it was some
bitchin sales going on...and i would have looked so hot in
this one outfit...
i also feel cool because i have taken a vow of celibacy...i
am not doing anything until my wedding night or after a
year of being with a guy..which ever comes first...now i am
not saying anything about letting them lick the "candyrain"
because ain't nothing wrong with that ...but i am not into
sex until i find my one...it is not that hard...i am going
to get me some flicks...and some toys and i will be in
seventh heaven!!!
it is just that i sometimes turn myself on...i dance around
the house and i am like damn...i am dope!! well anyways me
and dwayne suppose to go to the sade concert...i am siked
about that and we supposed to go see nagii(?) at comerica
on the 4th...i am siked about that to...sade...man, i feel
her songs...like that love is stronger than pride....never
understood it until i was acting like a fool....and i might
have been in that pseudo-love ...you know...
i am so proud of myself...two people cursed me out on my
voicemail over this pass weekend and i didn't retaliate...i
let them have the last word...the first was romeal..becaue
i was like NO you cannot come and stay with me for a few
days...and the other was lawayne because i don't feel like
he feel...he want a ready made relationship and that is
just not happening...especially with him...sure he has a
tight car and money ...but i want more...he has a bad ass
attitude like..." i am the shit" i was like ...i am not
impressed...but i would have liked that phat ass birthday
present ....but oh well...he did call and apologize but
fuck him...i am moving on...it is hot out and i am on the
prowl...alright that was corny but i just want to have
fun...and i am so happy i dont' have to drink, get high or
fuck to have it...i just love life...me and dwayne are
going to go picture taking together...he is going to teach
me what he knows about photography...but i know me...i am
not going to listen...i just want to learn how to develop
them but i think he takes his to a place...it was kind of
dope... the senior pictures he took of some girls was so
darn cute...well i have stalled to much...speaking
of...dwayne supposed to be over her already...we are going
to the movies...i swear he is so darn slow...i should have
told him it started at 3 and then he would be on time!!!
but honestly...i am doing so much better...i have learned
so much about me ...and you know what....i am happy !!