Corruption in all its beautiful forms..
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2002-06-30 14:41:09 (UTC)

The unexpected twists in life

Sittin here at my moms work, playin on the comp. Livin with
my mom now, it seems I never stay in one place or with one
person for very long. Joyce kicked me out thinking her
daughter was coming and she found a condom and ashes in a
pan, I think she just wanted to punish josh and wanted
space. Im kinda angry about it, even though I dont feel I
have much right to be. Josh confuses me sooo much, I dont
understand him, he is extremely sweet the first minute, so
mature, and the next he's an immature fucking moron, I dont
know, I guess just put up with his antics and wait for him
to grow up, the only thing is him putting his hands on me
and hurting me, Im so sensitive to that now, and I love him
so much and dont wanna lose him, but I have pride and self
respect so if he does it much longer I am gonna have to end
it, even though i dont want to. I think he is falling outta
love with me, which hurts me deeply, i dont know why, I
feel like i love him now more then ever and he's pushin me
away this time. Well time will change everything. Oh and I
took a pregnancy test yesterday to make sure i wasnt
pregnant, I was sure i was, but im not thank god, i cried
in the car I was so scared, and Josh is in Myrtle Beach so
I cant even tell him, he's gone for a week, having a grand
time while Im stuck in this hell hole, well I guess i
should stop feeling sorry for myself, its repulsive.
Life in the country is extremely boring, and Don is such
an asshole, Im going to end up telling him off and if he
hits me well then his life will be even worse, I dont want
to make my mom unhappy but I dont feel like i should let
someone disrespect me either. Need to get a job, Im hoping
to get an application today, to Hunters which would pay
well, I just need to get my paperwork STILL and I need to
go to michigan soon, I wanna get lots of money and buy lots
of things, things are fun. Well this is about it I think
Ive ranted long enough. out.

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