ThatMaskedMan

Not applicable
2002-06-30 05:05:35 (UTC)

June 29, 2002

I believe that, when you turn 30 or somewhere near there,
you switch from "night owl" to "early riser." Papi is over
30, I'm nowhere near it. Do the math. =P

So my dad wakes me up at 8:00 to talk, which has to be one
of his least brilliant ideas. I mean, what good is a
conversation if the person you're talking to is a zombie?
He talked to me about yesterday, how I finally just opened
up and vented, and told me that it's one of the most
important outlets I'll have at university. Case in point:
Marianna. Everything she fields from her roommate and other
people explodes through a live telephone wire into my
parents' ears, and they know not to take it personally.
They understand the stress that accompanies independence and
social interaction mixed with educational demands. I have
an outlet that I can trust, and since my parents got an 800
number (toll-free) that goes to the main line, I don't have
much of an excuse not to call. Before, I could see myself
talking to them sparingly, revealing nothing of my life
because I'd deal with it on my own. Funny how we equate
independence with self-sufficiency.

So then what is independence? If we turn to someone for
help, then are we not dependent on that other person? The
American colonies broke off from the English empire through
the Declaration of Independence, where they affirmed no
allegiance to the English monarchy, let alone any of its
social and moral values, and asserted their right to
determine and support themselves. University, then, isn't
complete independence. Rather, it's a lengthening of the
leash, an assertion of self-determination in only specific
instances. Or am I wrong, and university symbolizes
independence with a safety net to catch us when we slip from
the trapeeze? Tomorrow's entry, for certain.

Nonetheless, next in the day came the family shindig. My
cousin, Lisa, and her family were there, and Lisa and I
immediately started on the routine of ribbing each other.
It's that apparent love-hate relationship peculiar to close
family that really is just all in good humor. Which reminds
me of a quote that I'll never forget...

"Many a truth was said in jest."
- Mami (someone else probably said this, but I heard it
from her =P )

Lisa was fresh, or rather completely drained of energy,
from a party she'd gone to last night. Think mixed alcohols
and no sleep combined. Basically she's had her trial and
error experiences as well, this being yet another in the
series. Of course, I didn't give her any slack at all, and
took the opportunity to mess with her head and bug her.
Hey, I haven't seen her in a while, so I had to catch up on
lost time!

Anyway, about halfway through the shindig, she and her
family have to leave to go to another family event, this one
being a cousin's graduation party. Even though this cousin
is on a side of the family that I know nothing about, they
invited me along, and I joined them. Lisa rode with my in
my car, and on the way down (at least before she passed out
from exhaustion in the passenger seat) we got a chance to
talk some more. Once again, here's another great person
that I could have spent time with but didn't. It's a
reoccuring thing in my life, and it's completely my fault.
Remember how I wrote that through high school I didn't have
many friends in my grade? That's only partially true. What
happened is that I wouldn't put much effort into making
plans with other people for the weekends. I'd sit around
waiting for the phone's bell, wishing that somewhere along
the line, someone was thinking of inviting me along to have
fun.

Of course, if you don't give, you never get. For some
reason it's easier to wallow in self-pity and wail about the
injustices forced upon me when the simple remedy was pushing
keypad numbers. I thought I didn't have friends because no
one ever called me. Closed in on myself, I was waiting for
someone to make the first move, never realizing that to
someone else I am supposed to be that first-move guy. Life
is strange like that; missed opportunities that are so clear
in hindsight yet so concealed as you pass them. So I want
to hang out with Lisa more, especially since she's the only
cousin I have that's close to my age. Someone family that I
can relate to that isn't Marianna.

The rest of the evening was spent sitting around with my
parents, watching TV, which was actually rewarding to me.


Switching gears: Michelle teases me about how I describe
people by music. For example, when I was describing Janse
to her, I mentioned a couple physical characteristics, and
then started talking about what artists he likes. I can see
how it would seem odd, but it makes perfect sense to me.
Tangible descriptions can only go so far; music describes a
person, in my opinion, by attaching a culture to the sound.
There has to be some reason that he likes that particular
style of music, something that corresponds with an
intangible yet present personality trait. There are a lot
of artists that I like, but let me test myself:

(in no particular order)
-Led Zeppelin
-Janis Joplin
-Everclear
-Nirvana
-Dave Matthews Band
-Homonculus
-Coheed & Cambria
-The Start
-No Doubt
-Marc Anthony
-Ricky Martin (only the spanish-language stuff)
-ATB
-The Crystal Method
-Rage Against The Machine
-Guns And Roses
-Ludacris
-Eminem
-Aerosmith
-Alicia Keys
-The Beatles
-The Sex Pistols
-Jimi Hendrix
-Queen
-Green Day
-Jimmy Eat World
-The Who
-Billy Joel
-Pink Floyd
-Metallica
-(music that has a driving bass beat)
-Sarah McLachlan
-Red Hot Chili Peppers
-The Smashing Pumpkins
-Thursday
-Dispatch

Now tell me: who am I? Provided that you know all, or at
least most, of the artists on this list, would you not be
able to compile a better feel for who I am than if I said,
"5-feet, 10-inches; dark brown hair and dark brown eyes,
olive skin..." The exterior is what attracts you, but since
when has the core of anything lain on the exterior? Dig
deeper, for the gold stores are inside.

-Ricardo-




Ad: