Germany and Beyond
2001-06-25 14:44:22 (UTC)

Jessica's new Boyfriend

So, Jessica has beat me to it. She has gotton a new HOT
German boyfriend. We (jokingly) made a deal that we were
going to come back to America breaking the hearts of some
German stallion. I say jokingly, because I currently have
the love of my life (hi gator!). But, still, I think
Jessica took the deal seariously and went for the gold
medal. She is now sun bathing with him on the Neckar Wise
as I write this. She likes to tell everyone (repeatedly)
how he is:

1.) Hot
2.) Single
3.) In the Medical Field
4.) A model for a perfume company


5.) Helps with the special Olympics.

Well. That is some combination. PUKE! She is also trying
to impress him with her prowress, if you will, by forgoeing
her canes and attempting to walk on her own with a bad
ankle. What we do to impress others, I swear. Jess knows
I love her.

Anyway, I went to eat at McDonalds today, and it was so
damned tastey. I ate a fucking BIG MAC because I have not
eaten barely any beef for the past 4ish months. I was
kinda afraid to go to McDonalds because last time I went, a
giant pigeon flew smack into my face, beak and all. I was
so stunned, and everyone on the Hauptstraße just laughed at
me. :( It was so humiliating. What can one do when a
bird runs into your face in public for all to see? Several things
ran through my mind in the heat of the moment. One could try to do
one of the following:

A.) Keep walking in a dignified manner and pretend it
didn't happen
B.) Hold your face in confusion whilest spinning in circles
and scream "The Birds...The Birds are attacking!!!" ala
Alfred Hitchcock.
C.) Go postal on all pigeons for making you look like an
ass in public.
D.) Never go to McDonalds again, for fear of being made an
ass of by pigeons twice in the same spot.

I chose letter "D". However, I broke down and went anyways.
And, according to Jessica, I might have hair lice because
birds are known to give you lice if they attack your face,
I guess. But no itchy scalp so far.

Well, I need to go now. Check back for more tales.

Like sand through the hourglass, as are the days of our lives...


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