2002-06-29 03:22:47 (UTC)

Emotional Mess

Well this is my first entry, I am a married 26yr old mother
of 2 ages 6 and 2. And lately I feel like I am going NUTS!
Money is not there but the bills are, my son is not
listening, and my daughter has discovered she can manuver
things to climb higher. I never see my husband and all
my "friends" seem to be acting like they are "better" than

Boy, since HS friends have been hard to come by. At least
good ones any way. One of my best friends really let me
down a couple years ago. I had a baby and not 1 friend out
of about 6 came to visit me in the hospital or even call. I
even called them the day I went in to give birth. So they
knew. Now almost 3 years later I don't hear from them, if I
see them they send a mixed vibe. Like they are glad to see
me and want to get together. But it seems like it is
more "Oh, great she saw me and know I need to pretend" I
have spoke w/ her husband on the computer lately. It didn't
help anything. Made me more confused. He is always so nice
to me (she is in person)but really should I try? "the phone
works both ways" she always says. And I called last time. I
get disapointed easy, when will I learn? I feel extremly
unliked. Is it in my head or fact? Am I pushing myself on
them? I am the only one out of the "group" anymore from
what I gather. I feel like I am not making enough money to
be there any more. Even when in the beginning we all made
the same and worked at the same place. What has changed?
What did I do? Well any suggestions are welcome here. That
is what I am Looking for with this diary.