WeeLilStar

the big cut off

frank and i have been seeing eachother for 2 months now and
after 3 weeks we started sleeping together and i recently
cut him off. no more sex of any kind.
i love frank and i didn't do this because i have doubts of
that love and i didn't do it for any religious reason. i
just felt it was something i needed to do in order to keep
our healthy relationship.
i have the weird thing about me. with the sexual abuse i
have had in my past it is hard for me to keep a healthy
relationship when sex is involved.
for me sex is the only sign of love that i know and feel
and understand. so when i have sexual love i need it. and i
make that the most important thing in my life and
relationship so i just forget about the whole mental and
spiritual side of things. the two things that i know in my
head and in my heart are the most important things. the two
things a relationship needs to be based on.
so i cut off the sex. i miss the sex. but i need to learn
how to have a real relationship before i am allowed to
have that extra special pleasure. i can't wait for that day
=)