Str8 Girl, Interrupted

My Life is a Drama....
2001-06-24 21:48:46 (UTC)

"Only ring your celly when I'm feelin' lonely..."

So, another day is come and almost gone. I'm completely
totally bored. I have nothing to do. Josh left for work.
Chris is at Cedar Point. And Marc just left with Jeff. I
feel lonely...hence the title. :)

I have something to look forward to tonight though...Queer
As Folk. I know it sounds corny, but I love that show.
It's absolutely the best show on television anymore. I
think I like it more than Dawson's Creek. Maybe cuz it's a
little more grown up then Dawson, but I still love it,

So, for the day, I will try to recover from my massive
hangover. I wen to Aunt April's house for a cook-out
yesterday and got a little to drunk. I ended up throwin up
and passing out. I had a good time until I started
throwing up. LOL.

Well...I really don't have a lot more to say. I have some
lyrics that I found from Staind...I beginning to like this
band more and more. Their lyrics and music just speak to
me. It's totally not the style of music I usually listen
to. I never really like new rock bands, but these guys
just know where to hit me in the soul.

Anyways, here the lyrics to "Outside". It's exactly how I
feel towards Marc right now. I know it's not the most
endearing song I should have to dedicate to him, but it's
honestly how I feel. I guess I must be brutally honest
with myself and say that what Marc and I had is no longer.
And I can honestly say that I'm not too upset by it. It
would eventually happen. Just when he comes crawling back,
I don't know if I'll be able to be there for him. He's not
here for me right now. When I need him most. I don't owe
him anything. This is for you, my so-called best this so-called life. :(

And you, bring me to my knee, again.
And all the times, that i had to beg you please,in
And all the times, that I've felt insecure, for you.
And I leave my burdens at the door.

But I'm on the outside
I'm looking in
I can see through you, see your true colors.
'Cause inside you're ugly.
Your ugly like me.
I can see through you
See to the real you.

And all this time
that i felt like this won't end,
was for you.
And I taste but i could never have,
its from you.
And all this time that i tried,
my intention, Full of pride
And i waste more time than anyone.

I'm on the outside,
I'm lookin' in,
I can see through you, see your true colors.
'Cause inside your ugly, your ugly like me
I can see through you
see to the real you.

All the times that I've cried,
all this wasted it's all inside
and i feel all this pain
Stuffed it down it's back again
and i lie here in bed
all alone i can't mend
and i feel tomorrow will be okay

I'm on the Outside
I'm lookin' in,
I can see through you
see your true colors
'Cause inside your ugly
your ugly like me
I can see through you
see to the real you

I hope you feel just a little of what I feel.