enigmatic contemplation
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2001-06-24 21:36:29 (UTC)

phone call

i talked to B for a long while the day before yesterday.
Gave me an AWESOME meeting. I was shaky for a good hour
after that. then yesterday he didnt show up online all day.
I missed him and was thinking about him alot.. then around
10:30 the phone in my room rings. I was eating dinner and
wasnt going to answer it.. but something made me jump out
of my seat and run to the phone. Guess who?!! B!! It felt
so good to hear his voice. We talked for a good half hour.
Told me he missed me and was thinking of me. The best part
about it was that he was in Ireland!! I felt sooooo
special.. and of course he said "you ARE special .. dont u
know that?" Was telling me about how he's working on
getting his visa so he can come to the states. How if his
g/f ever cheated on him he'd sell all of his shit and come
to florida with me. AHHH! that would be heaven. He asked me
to marry him today. I told him yes. He was only fooling but
it was a nice thought. I'd marry him in a heartbeat. No
question about it. Maybe.. one day... if im lucky. I talked
to him for about 20 mins today. He looked so gorgeous. Had
his dreads loose (which is almost never) And kept smiling
at me. Telling me he wanted to marry me, wanted to be with
me. That i was too cute for anyone else. :: sigh :::
Now.. on the other hand. J and i almost broke up .. AGAIN!!
what a pain. We fight way too much. He is supposed to come
over after work today. Made me tell him i love him before
we hung up yesterday. Which i do. But im confused now. I
dont know wether i want to be in a relationship. I love him
with all of my heart. But.. i dunno.. I doubt sometimes if
wether what im doing is right or not. Im gonna go eat