fake plastic diary
2002-06-27 11:28:17 (UTC)

oh yay. prom tomorrow. whoopdeedoo.

i think instead of typing all my entries out, it would be
easier just to copy and paste the emails i write to my
internet soulmate paul. which means they probably wont make
sense. but does life evr make sense anyway?
i dunno why but i cant stop laughing. i think i may have a
disease. hahaha.isnt it a wonderful day? well, its kinda
raining a little bit but thats not stopped me being in a
good mood. today i have nothing to do. nothing at all.
well, my library books are about a month overdue so i could
take them back but that involves walking to the library,
and since i dont have to walk to the library as i dont have
to do anything today, im just gonna stay here and wait till
they send me threatening letters. i just spent about an
hour playing dressing up. proms not till tomorrow, but i
felt like trying my outfit (i hate that word) on. so i did.
i pranced around the house looking like a cross between a
vampire and a crow. i did all my make up, with the black
lips and the heavy eyeliner and too much silver glitter and
i just walked around pretending i was like some evil
princess. i have grown very fond of fishnets! i always
thought they were ridiculous but they just arent. make me
look like a drag queen, but still. i think i may have gone
over the top a little bit. normal people will not be
looking like me. normal people will be wearing pretty lilac
dresses or even pants or whatever. they will not be looking
like its halloween. but i shudnt look too weird cos my
frinds will be dressed a bit like me. so i'll be fine.
erlack. i hate the taste of lippy. ew.
i txted ozzie a few times and we'll probly just meet in
town sometime. he lives kinda far away and hes not that
great. it was just a fun nite. so the only ppl who will see
my lovely see thruish top are the pervy teachers and my
friends. and maybe u one day. who knows? it probably looks
nicer than a bin bag. but has the same effect. hmmmmm. i
wish u didnt live so far away. i actually looked for where
u live on a map. how sad is that? i suppose its just as sad
as saving all ur emails as text files cos my computer just
deletes them otherwise and i hate that. i sometimes read
them when im sad or bored and they make me feel better.
thank you for the little vase of flowers. they smell lovely!
wow. u get a free shower radio. i cant beat that. nothing
can beat that.
gyms are so depressing. the closet ive been to a gym is the
school fitness suite, and i never did anything except this
weights thing for all of 5 minutes and also i was standing
on the running machine to look over the balcony to watch
the lads play football and my friends thought it would be
hilarious to switch the machine on to full power and i fell
over. yes it was hilarious. not.
the problem with reading ur emails is that im all amused
and interested and then u try and tell me that loraine
kelly is fit. nooooooooooooooo!!!!!! no no no no no no no
no no no no on no no no no n no n on on onon non nono
cant be arsed anymore but u get the idea. no. go smack ur
head against the wall. oooooh but on the subject of fit
people, i never watch tennis because, like atheletics, if i
start watching it i get hooked, and i dont like tennis or
atheletics. its just addictive. but anyway, i ended up
watching some tennis yesterday and oh my god there are some
really really fit tennis players. why did no-one tell me?
like this really cute belgian guy. but i guess there are
some real ugly bastards in there too.
anyway, im gonna go do nothing! yay! oh, im so bored.
theres fuck all to do here. on the plus side margos moving
out. yet again. the only bad thing is that shes taken the
cat so i cant play with it anymore. oh and my dads probly
upset too. ah well.
hope u have a really good day. and i mean that. normally
when i tell ppl to have a good day i dont mean it. but i
like it when ur happy. u deserve to be happy. then u can
also cheer me up by telling me how happy u are. and now im
startin to chat shit as usual, but thats cos i dont wanna
go because i have nothing better to do, and also i like
typing to u.
hmmmm my forehead above my right eyebrow is itchy again. it
does that every so often. it probably means something, like
when ppl get aching bones before cold weather and stuff.
but i dunno what.
love you loads and loads and then loads more.
if i were to kiss u now u'd have a black lippy print, which
would be amusing. xxx much like that.
from the princess of evil x

dont u just love 192 people finder? its great. the last
time i went on there was when we sent hate mail to this
girl we didnt like. i dont know if it ever reached her. i
havent seen her for a while. ur so hilarious. not.
i opened a new bank account today. i was put off halifax by
the terrible adverts like the one with the guy on the giant
flying swan. so i took my money and put it in the
nationwide. 3.60% interest is poor. i learned so much today
about interest rates and bonds and all kinds of shit that i
didnt really take in.
i watched the mole a few times, but it reminded me of this
girl called hannah who has two big moles on her cheeks
which are hairy. i couldnt keep a straight face near her.
why on earth did u bring the topic up? i watched this
programme before that was called x sommat or other where
the team have to capture stuff by shooting the enemy with
paintballs. it was kinda cool. smooth jazz? well, yeah.
smooooooth. nice.
you will never be normal. at least i hope not. humbugs are
supposed to have a hard centre. i dunno why. just accept
i went shopping today. i needed something to wear to prom
on friday, and i wasnt bothered about how bad i look. that
is why i ended up buying a top with big flared sleeves that
makes me look like a huge crow. caw! its black and matches
this long black skirt that i own, and it was cheap cos i
was on a tite budget. its kinda see thru tho so i had to go
buy a nice black bra to go with it. i tried on this real
kinky cute pink bra, but my mum wouldnt let me buy it.
bitch. and i found some fishnets which are a pain to wear
but look kinda better than nothing. i also bought a
choker/necklace to go with it, and a pretty little
headband. i think i mite try and curl my hair or sommat cos
its always so poker straight and it'll look weird. oh and i
got new nail varnish. oooooooh! i dunno what colour lippy
to wear. i hate make up and especially lipstick but i
suppose is only one nite. i think either black or purple. i
have some nice shiny pinky stuff, but it wont match.
what have u done to ur hair thats so great? my hair always
looks the same. its so fine that it is impossible to tangle
or tie in knots. which is a pain cos i cant put clips and
stuff in. its normally just little pig tails.
i have nothing to do tomorrow. how odd. friday morning im
gonna spend plaiting my hair and doing nothing. in the
afternoon we're putting tents up in chazs bck garden. in
the evening we're getting ready then we're going out. oh
yay. i think i'll spend the evening doing crow impressions
to amuse myself and annoy everyone else.
i found ur little attachment most amusing. i also think it
would be hilarious if u turned into a little blue smurf.
well, i cant think of anything . at all. so i'll just say
goodnite. or good morning, or whatever. so have sweet
dreams, or a good day, or whatever.
loads of love and sweet stuff
lisa, the girl with her own personal stalker.

the day before........
dont be dissin orange and brown. it makes indie student
lads look good.
ooooooh 3 hour walk. not good. well, actually walkins not
bad but blisters are just evil. and not good that u argued
with ur mum. but u know what i mean. thing. i hate doin
that.....writin how i had a good time when u didnt. makes
me feel bad. well, as is life.
just because u know my name doesnt mean u have to use it at
every possible opportunity. i hate my name. its stuck up.
and it sounds crap.
i live in a close on an estate. heather close on lytham
drive/chase (theres two different street signs....i dunno
why) its not really posh, but i guess it is compared to
some places. its probably about 15 yrs old or sommat. 4
closes in the estate. mostly little shitty kids who think
its amusing to call me a gothic no matter what im wearing.
probably cos they saw me dressed as a witch last halloween
as i was walking down to chaz's house. the ppl round here
are mostly families with bratty kids and upper working
class type ppl. popey lives on the estate. as does his mate
jonathan who i hate for no reason and this lad lives nxt
door who went to my primary school. he was never fun.
always like a 50yr old man. very much the same as his dad.
but i havent spoken to him since primary school. actually
we got on pretty well. and i just contradicted myself.
gonna shut up now. how can ur street not have an ending?
whats it called?
woolworths.........u must be mad. i dunno why but it makes
u seem completely insane. public bathroom? ew...... and
whats wrong with buying a bikini for £3? as long as its
nice it doesnt matter how much it costs. some of the worlds
most angin bikinis are the most expensive. not everyones
rich, and not everyone wants to spend a load of money on
sommat that theyr only gonna wear like for two weeks a
year. never swim in the sea in britain. shudder. too cold.
but not everywhere is that crap. its pretty nice in
newquay.......well, lots of lads in wetsuits cant be bad.
well, if i email u when ur busy, just wait until ur really
bored to read ur emails. simple.
i want a coffin with stained glass windows. thats all i
have to say on the matter.
selotaped to a chair? lol. aw i love when ppl say all nice
bollocks about how great u are just when ur leaving. like
ppl write stuff like, oh i wish id know u better. no, no u
dont wish ud know me at all. u hated me for 5 years. shut
up! but then u do get all the really genuine stuff with all
good memories and thats what really matters. do u really
buy ppl christmas presents? that is such a rare quality in
a lad. most lads dont ever even send ppl cards, or even
notice when its christmas. i only ever had cards from 4
lads. gary, who i used to fancy but never got anywhere
with, charles who is one of those geeks but are really
sweet in a oh my god he is so sad and doesnt have a life
beyond his computer sort of way, then wilkie gave me a card
this year. well, he made me write it out myself, but the
thought was there. then lastly some lad from band. probably
mark allison who played the flute. he now pushes trollies
at morisons.
i think ppls comments about u all sound accurate.
ur room sounds very laddish. sounds a bit mad.....leaves on
the curtains? yeeeees....
car paking tickets was an odd thing to collect. i think ur
dad was probably right to throw em away. otherwise u'd end
up like a crazed maniac.
may god bless you.
dont u think theres something really sadistic about wearing
an evil instrument of torture round ur neck? i really want
a little silver guillotine i can wear cos it would make me
loads of love from lisa the girl with the red socks xxx

and before that......

hiya!!! oh i am in such a good mood!
last nite was absolutely great. me, xen, chaz, popey and
sam (my friend, not margos daughter) went to the roadhouse
to see jesse james. it was such a great gig! the place is
tiny. the stage is tiny. like an alcove. its a small
standing area in front of the stage and then another area
round the bar. but thats the great thing about it. there
was only about 100 ppl i think. the first band was called
censa faye and they were a bit emo. if uve ever heard jimmy
eat world, thats who they sounded like. they were pretty
good. then in between them and the next band we made
friends with this group of lads. they were pretty mad. they
had this jonny bravo doll and they put it in a condom and
threw it round the room. they did a lot of skankin, which
is sooooo much fun....better than moshin or anythin, and a
lot less painful. well, thats the sort of ppl they were.
the nxt band was called shootin goon. they were soooooooooo
cool! ska music. i love ska music. me, chaz and xen were at
the front for most of their set and it was great. the music
was really good and 3 of them were well fit! plus they
played the ymca and that just makes them amazing. then
between them and jesse james, the venue played loads of ska
remixes of tacky songs, like come on eileen and take on me.
we were skankin and dancin with the lads we met, and we did
a conga line, and we all had such a good time! one of the
lads was really nice. we were all dancing in a circle,
holdin hands and stuff, and then me and the lad (who was
called ozzie (dont know his real name)) just ended up
together. he was so nice. i didnt see much of jesse james
set cos i spent most of it hugging ozzie, and dancing with
my friends and his friends. aw, he was sooooo sweet. the
only problem was that he was ridiculously tall. and im all
short. so it was kinda funny, and it hurt my neck going
with him! lol. at one point he picked me up and went with
me. it was hillarious. he was bloody strong to lift me for
so long! he had nice hands. hes got my number, but i dont
have his. i dont suppose he'll get in touch, but im not
bothered cos it was just good fun. the whole nite was
great. like a party. xen went crowd surfing and is now
addicted to it. i was pretty sober. i had some wine, but
not enough to get me pissed. but i was having such a great
time that i had that pissed feeling like really happy. the
only bad part was when i decided to sniff poppers in the
middle of shootin goons set. it was too hot and i just felt
sick for a bit. u probably think im addicted to poppers cos
i keep mentioning them, but im not. ive only done it about
5 times and thats just to be sociable. i draw the line at
that tho. im never doin anythin else, not even weed. ive
not been to some parties in the past just so i wont have to
do it. but it was a great nite. we had a water fight.
stayed over at xens. watched about a boy, which is a great
film. anyway, ive talked too much about my nite. just not
many good things happen, so when they do i have to mention
them. in great detail.
i love buying cheap junk. i got a cd last, but thats not
cheap junk. i just forgot to mention it. ive only bought
stuff from wollies in rochdale and cornwall. i dont think
thats the best way to judge the quality of a town! there
isnt even a wollies in manchester....well, not in the
centre anyway. theres one of those little wollies on the
outskirts. rammstein are amazing. ive been to see them and
they were absolutely fantastic live. du hast is a great
song. ive probably typed the lyrics in an email to u before
now. but probably in german. the lyrics are cool. go on
herzeleid.com ......its a good rammstein site with all the
lyrics. that cd does sound pretty cool.
life after death.......i hope there is. but i cant ever
understand so i cant be arsed thinking about it. it just
screws ur head up. i went to church from when i was like
born until i was 12, when i was finally allowed to stop
going, after years of not beliving a lot of what they told
us. but i know my bible pretty well.
i hate those bloody grab things. they are crap. i cant do
them. 4 inches is impressive.
thats really disturbing.......just thinking of me like
that. ur quite mad. thanks for sayin nice stuff about me.
it makes me feel good. im sooooooo happy we met. u are a
cool cool person. u are funny and sweet and i even like u
when u are horrid. im really sad.....i spend too much time
checkin my email just to see if uv emailed me. i always get
bored of ppl and stop talking to them, but i still love
talking to u. ur like a soul mate. that sounds cheesy, but
thats what i think. is there anything in particular u wanna
know about me? cos u know quite alot really. considering
that weve not been talking for that long. id like to know
what ur room looks like. like what colour is it? im a very
nosy person when it comes to ppls bedrooms. well, im nosey
when it comes to everything, but i think that bedrooms tell
sooooo much about a person.
dont u just love being hugged? i hate my family huggin me,
but friends and ppl are just so great to hug. i always used
to hate ppl hugging me, but now i think its just the best
thing in the world.
what do u do with ur autograph collection? do u display it
or what? seems like a fun thing to do. (orrr fuck, i just
spent ages typing out something i just said to my brother
cos i lost my train of thought. i hate doing that)
i dont think my dads gonna get married anymore. they never
got on that well, but theyve fallen out big time and i dont
think theyr talking to each other at all. i saw all their
wedding invitations in the bin before. i just wish theyd
make their friggin minds up. bloody hell.
oooh my ears are still ringing. i hate that. hmmmm. i think
ive said enough.
loads of love
wow that looks like an arrow that doesnt point to anything!
i love orange and brown together. its so retro.

and beforehowdy!
bloody hell. its too cold to write. of course ur an idiot.
don't u find the word idiot soooo insulting? its like fool,
or penis for being insulting. i could say ur a nincompoop
if it makes u feel any better. no i didnt watch the bill.
it bores me so much that i wouldnt av watched it even if ud
had the starring role......well, maybe. yeah iv seen the
guy from roadtrip. it was prety funny cos the whole toe
suckin thing was a one of our private jokes before we saw
the film, so we had a good laff. my mate went and bought
these sandals which say "lick my lollipop, suck my toes".
theyr so cool! is taid another of ur welsh(?) words, like
nain? i dont have an impressive family, so i can do pretty
much anything and nobody will care. i dont think it matters
if u dont live up o ur family, altho im sure u will. u dont
have to be rich or have a good career to be a success. ur
really paranoid. the way i see it, i dont believe theres
anything after death. u just die and theres nothing. so if
u dont fall in love or whatever before u die, it doesnt
matter cos ud be too dead to realise or regret it. does
that make sense? but i see what u mean. theres gotta be
some point to living. and i think that point is to have as
much fun as u can. so maybe it is important to fall in
love. its just too early on a monday morning for me to
think. i'll have to tell u the meaning of life some other
skeggness? oh my god! why? is it some kind of horrible
family thing? it sounds like the kind of place u need a
bucket and spade for.
dont get depressed. it only makes u unhappy.
enjoy ur day! loads of love, lisa.xxx.
oh yeah, my mums called patricia/trish and my dads called
david. my brothers called mark. why did u wanna know?
that....and i think i'll stop at that!.....