Alexander Dickson

Silent Hill: Town of Unforgetable Memori
2002-06-27 01:25:58 (UTC)

A cut above the rest (or two)

When you decide to use a knife, your father shows you
because it is "new", to cut yourself with you kind of
wonder why. Two shallow, yet noticeable cuts across the
outside of my arms. Nothing serious. I forget why people
consider this wrong. Its probably a bible thing, should I
ever read beyond Chapter 12 of Genesis I'll be sure to
read the reasons why. It didn't even hurt, hell stubbing
my toe (I think thats the right term) hurt more than this
did. It might have been the fact I didn't cut too deep or
the cut was clean, but last time I checked, there were
just as many nerve endings on youre skin as anyplace else
so who knows. I guess the boredom made me do it again. Or
my desire to feel pain. Its the purest of sensations, you
either feel it or you don't and I don't feel it enough
these days. Must be one of the few people to actually want
pain and suffering, in a non-masochistic way anyway. Pain
and suffering every day, at least then I would have a
reason to complain about my life. I'm happy. Other than
the parents who hate each other, theres little wrong with
my environment.

Maybe I will find some temporary peace tomorrow/today
(Thursday 27th) when I go and see my "friends" from
University when I was up there during the Access Course. I
think I'll make an effort, a shirt maybe, although it will
have to be short sleeve since long sleeve is too formal
for such a meeting. Then the cuts will be obvious. Like I
care, if anyone asks they can get a dose of hard-assed
truth.

Oh how I wish we lived in a world where going from one town
to another involved a trek with many friends because of the
massive monster population. I wish I could hold a sword and
battle fiends for a living. A place where things openly
attaked you and you had to live by your wits and skill. A
world of make believe I know, but still I would like it.

Why oh why must all gay people like Kylie Minogue? Is it a
genetic trait in us or something? Oooooh it is so
annoying. Oh well can't change it, might as well deal with
it. I am looking for some loud shouty music, anyone got
any good bands, tell me some songs to listen to when
annoyed, e-mails to [email protected]