FoRPlAyGiRl69

She's a wild one
2002-06-26 20:07:20 (UTC)

Happyness

I have realized today that everyone around me has, in some
way, become unhappy in the last counple of days. Maybe
their unhappyness is due to something someone said or has
done to them or maybe it is because of their family
problems, friends saying things or just because I have done
something to make them upset.
I have hurt atleast two people in the last week and I am
very sorry about that. I am sorry (in someways) that I
flirted with Julian and made Scott and Holly mad are upset
with me. But flirting with Julian has earned me new firend
that I can talk to about anything and he will not get mad
or become offended by what I tell him. Holly and Scott both
have to realize that that is just the way I am , I speek
and act-out what I feal. Ya I have learned a few lessons
form my mistakes but I am not going to change the way I am
for other people and their happyness. This is the way I am
and this is the way I am going to stay.
It has taken a long time to find the true person I really
am. My parents think I am way too wild and crazy for my age
but I love the person I am. I have character and knowlage
far surpass any other teenager my age.
I have experanced true love, death, extreem happyness, sex,
drug abuse, alcohol abuse, and the most extreem people and
partys. My life has been full of all of these things and
they have taught me what I want in life (and what I dont
want). I want to be happy and loved and cared for but I
don't want to have abuse and hate in my life. But I know ,
from the mind of Julian, that you can not find happyness
but that happyness will find you.
Holly always says that everyhting happens for a reason.
That if you do good things that good things will come to
you. Myabe she is right and maybe she is wrong I guess
everyone has to find out in their own time. I have found
that, that is a true thing.
I guess I have found a lot true meaning in my life in the past week
or so. I have done a lot soul serching per say. But I have only found
one thing true and that is that you can not help who you love and
care about. I love someone who everyone says I should not be with and
he is not the kind of person they can see me with but I love him
anyways. No one is going to stop me but the only thing is, is that
this all could change in an instant.
I love you,
Cindie
P.S. If you have anything to say to me leave a coment.




Ad: