Last Temptation
2002-06-26 18:53:32 (UTC)

Desperate for help!

During these awkward teenage years there are many things
that one must deal with. One such thing is a relationship.
Now I know those high school relationships we have are just
something we do in preparing ourselves for the real dating
world. Also something we do to fulfill our time and sexual
desires. But, is it possible to love someone; even at this
is age?
Through the summer of 7th, 8th grade, and even freshman
year Chris and I have been through a lot. He says he loves
me, which is the only thing that makes sense to say since
we have been together for practically a year now. The
question I have is, if it is “real” love?
He has recently told me (this evening) that he somewhat
likes Ashley. They have their flirtations and are suppose
to be doing something next week. As somewhat of a joke, and
to see Chris in action talking to her, I gave her a ring.
She was not home. He later on told me that when/if they go
on their “date” that he would go down on her and let her do
the same to him.
Maybe I am naive, but doesn’t this seem a bit wrong? After
all we are going out!
I am going to wait and see if Chris and Ashley do something
together before I make any rash decisions. I want his
perspective of the night and see how he still feels about
me. If they do anything sexual, or even if they just “hang
out” I am going to feel worse about myself then I ever
have, for letting my guard down and believing he loves me.
I do not want to be with someone who needs to have that
extra flirtation with someone different. Someone likes and
who I think someone he cares about more than a friend. I
know I shouldn’t even have to wait to see if they do
anything that I should just end it now, but I am scared.
Yes, I said scared. Of being alone.
The whole thing is just flat out weird. It was like we were
setting eachother up to cheat. I care for him deeply,
whether its love or not I don’t know, but what I do know is
that if he does need that flirtation with her, I cant be
with him.
I shouldn’t have to feel bad for being content with what I
have, since it seems that he is not.
What should I do?