tarletondiva

Trials and Tribulations
2002-06-26 13:58:53 (UTC)

Thoughts

I just finished taking an economics test. For a freshman
class, it's not exactly easy. Jafri seems determined to
make it as difficult as possible. Oh well. D for
diploma...that's my mantra.

This afternoon I have a confirmation interview with the
Site Base Committee in Graford. I'm not nervous, but I'm
not looking forward to it either. I hate all the dumb
questions that don't amount to anything but get asked
anyway. I think it's retarded. :)

All's perfect in Aprilville. What can I say? It's strange
not having things to bitch and moan about because
everything is coming up roses. I hope that there are other
people in this world who are as happy as I am. I'd like to
think that there is more happiness in the world than misery
and anger, but sometimes I'm not so sure. It seems strange
to me that happiness is somewhat of an anomoly (sp?).
After all, people are supposed to create their own
happiness. Well...I think that it isn't necessarily that
they create their own. My theory is that the happiness is
there, it's up to the individual to stop and look within
themselves long enough to be able to accept its existence
and identify its source.

Philosophy...my next class. I really wouldn't mind getting
a master's in Philosophy. There are so many things that I
love...Literature, Spanish, Philosophy, History...I am such
a nerd, but its who I am. There's no point in denying your
true self.

I miss alot of people, despite the fact that I'm so happy.
I think that it might be because I don't have any of my
friends to share it with. I haven't seen Becca in weeks.
She called me the other day and told me that she missed
me...that's emotional for Becca. I miss her too.
Hopefully, when we get moved in here next month I will see
her regularly. I would like for her and Brett to be the
match to our married couple...you know, the ones we always
hang out with, the ones our kids grow up around...

I miss Justin a lot too. I don't miss him for the romance
part of our relationship. As far as I'm concerned, that's
dead, it's in the past. No, I miss him for his friendship
and advice. I feel like I haven't been a good friend to
him since Allen and I got together because I dont' ever
talk to him, really. I wrote him an email and he wrote me
back, which was nice. I replied again, and I am still
waiting to hear back from him. He's probably busy anyway.
I'm sure he hasn't thought about me very much...I could be
wrong though.

I even miss my sister. She lives across the hall, but I
never see or talk to her anymore. It's strange, because I
think she resents Allen for taking me away from her. She's
probably mad at me because I haven't been too overly
concerned with her "drama". Well, I have my own life now--
a husband, a career, soon I'll have a home and a child.
It's time for us to REALLY grow up. I love her though, and
I miss her. One day she'll understand. Right now she's
just too jaded about love to be able to comprehend why he
is the center of my universe.

Well, gotta go back to class. Hope everyone's doing well.
Heather: Thanks for the kind words. It's kind of
comforting to know that someone is reading this stuff and
cares enough to give me advice when I need it. :) Shalom.




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