I'm a girl, not a band!!!
2002-06-25 23:44:50 (UTC)

Oh dear

Once upon a time, a silly girl went to meet a boy. She
picked him up, and then they went to a dock and talked.
They ended up kissing. The boy wanted more, but the girl
said no. Fast forward a couple of weeks, and the boy asked
the girl again, and she gave in. She went to his house and
spent the night. It was ok. Not good, not bad...just ok.
The boy is very shy, and the girl very emotional and her
main concern is walking all over the boy. And that's not
fair. The girl is a big proponent of fair. Well, the girl
gave in one more time and went to his house but then had
to leave because she didn't know what she was doing there.
She didn't love the boy. He didn't love her. She started
freaking out. How could she do this?? She got up, got her
clothes, and left. The girl then went to a bar and got
drunk. Eventually, the girl forgave herself. And was
hoping the boy moved on. Till one day the girl heard from
the boy. They had a long conversation. The girl learned
alot about herself from their conversation. Such as the
girl needs someone to keep her in check..in control. The
girl has a tendancy to fly off the handle and react
emotionally rather than thinking things through first. She
needs, and wants someone who can calm her down, be her
rock, and always love her. Here is an excerpt from part of
a conversation the girl had with the boy:

girl says:

boy says:
if you want you can comeover tonight and stay over.

girl says:
i have class from 12:45 to 3:35 and then am picking up the
baby at 6 and watching him

girl says:
i don't know ...spending the night with you....it's

girl says:
because I will leave....and i don't want to hurt you again

boy says:

boy says:
don't leave. stay with me. we can watch movies

girl says:
i have class, and things to do...plus i don't know if i
can do any of the girlfriend thing and i don't want to
lead you on...

girl says:
i'm still trying to figure out my baggage

boy says:
ok. atleast i'll have your company. but if you don't feel
comfortable its ok.

girl says:
company, yes. but you and i both know that it would go

boy says:
if it did would it be so bad?

girl says:
no, but sex is an emotional as well as physical thing. and
i can't and won't do one night stands anymore. not fair to
me, not fair to him...whoever he may be.

boy says:

girl says:
i would completely understand if you hated me.

girl says:
i would hate me if i were you

boy says:
i don't

boy says:
what for. no reason to

girl says:
i guess for being emotional and needy and overwhelming

boy says:
your not

girl says:
i am...but it's sweet of you to say so

boy says:
you're really not

girl says:
*smiling at you*

girl says:
are you thinking anything now?

boy says:

girl says:
what is it?

boy says:
when we used to be together and make love

girl says:
i remember

boy says:
felt so good. i really miss it

girl says:
i know.....but maybe memories of that are better than the
possibility of me spoiling whatever might be next.

boy says:
don't be like that

girl says:
i can't help it. that's how I think

girl says:
i just don't want to hurt you....and i'm scared to death
of that.....i'd rather hurt myself (not physically, i'm
talking emotionally) than someone else

girl says:
see? this is how i think. i'm an eternal pessimist

boy says:
then you;ll always be alone. you have to take chances,

boy says:
can't worry too much of other people. you have to think of
yourself too

girl says:
but i don't. ever. period.


That is part of the conversation. The girl feels like even
in conversation, the boy has no opinions, no ideas of his
own. She feels that the boy just rolls over and doesn't
fight for what he wants. Not that the girl wants to fight
with him on this subject. But maybe the girl is looking
for a kind and gentle boy, but one who doesn't back down
and yield to her automatically. The girl would get bored
with a boy who would. The girl realized that she needs a
rock, someone to keep her from floating off. Someone who
will hold her in his arms and let the girl know that she
is loved and to make her see some sense.

Maybe the girl is asking too much from boys....boys in