FOIA

Dutchess
2002-06-25 17:47:19 (UTC)

tic tac toe


The weather is suiting my mood today. I love the pre-storm
hush/calm that envelops everything and one... as if nothing
can be too sacred at this moment, for it's about to rain
bloody jesus. Even the birds reconize it, and are silent.
The air has a cool damp undertone, and the little hairs on
the back of your neck rise for no reason at all. It's a
pleasant little anomaly in otherwise scorchingly hot, humid
summer days.
I feel like I'm running two steps ahead of a hurricane,
and at any moment it will swoop down and overtake me. That
would almost be a welcome sensation at this point. But, of
course, the hurricane is of my own makings and imaginings,
and is the pressure that drives me forward, so I can't very
well give in to it now. I'd like to change my
attitude/outlook on many issues currently. Rather than be
stressed and worried over the goals I'm trying to
accomplish, and what I perceive as my failures, I'd like to
be more relaxed and see it as sort of a big game. I'm
moving myself around on a chessboard, trying to get in the
best position. See, I'll be expending the same amount of
energy no matter what, but if I can view it more lightly, I
think I'll enjoy what I'm doing more. I think I'm taking
myself and the world muuuuccchh too seriously for my own
good. There's certainly no evidence that the world is
taking itself seriously, so I'm wasting my energy. And
nobody likes a surly redhead with ulcers.
For some reason, I cannot change the course of any events
no matter how hard I squint my eyes and fret. Damn no good
Jedi powers... So I'll have to rely upon other methods.
World domination, here we come. Oh, yeah, and will someone
put out that damn fire in Arizona?

p.s. it is a wonderful guilty pleasure to be writing in my
diary while looking to all the world (and my boss) as
though I was hard at work. wheee!




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