TechieMom

Living In The Dark
2002-06-25 04:36:05 (UTC)

I Hate Making Promises

Some promises are easier to keep than others.

If I promise to pick up milk on the way home from work, I'm
probably going to do it. If I promise to be at a friend's
birthday party, I'll be there. However, promising to love
someone through thick and thin, adultery and bad breath,
forever and ever... that's another road-trip tale
altogether.

Even if it's only symbolic, I'm fairly picky about words. I
cut down on using the word "have" a few years ago, and now
I'm finding that the heavily-loaded "promise" is making my
skin prickle.

My wedding is looming in a mere six weeks and it is time to
write vows. I created part of them already, but I feel
there needs to be some echoed statements included at some
point. My dilemma is this:

I do NOT want to slobberingly vow to die without my fiance,
nor do I wish to be dedicated to him for better or for
worse. Worse can get pretty ugly. I am still at a stage in
my life where I am asserting my individuality and if I were
to write these vows in accordance with my most basic
thoughts, they would sound like this -

I promise to be myself. I choose to marry you today
because you are a decent guy and treat me right. I will
treat you with the same respect and consideration so long
as you don't ever try to even suggest that I be something
other than what I want to be. Do you understand?

Somehow, I don't think that would go over very well for his
heart or the popped-out eyeballs of our 93 stunned guests.

-------------------------

May I please have the ring?
As you can see, this
Ring is a symbol of me
Rounded and right
In wholeness to start
And solid and sound in heart.
Giving this to you does not
Equate my incompleteness.

~kh


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