2002-06-25 04:01:25 (UTC)

Oh this is so hard...

I have been wanting to cast this spell for memory for the
longest time. I found the perfect self improvement spell.
There is just so much to do before you actually get down to
what is most neccessary. But without all this other stuff,
there just isn't an effective spell at all. It involves
casting a "Draconic" circle, calling the quarters,
requesting the help of dragons and dieties, and a few more
ingredients just with the beginning. (like water and a
certain kind of salt.) Besides, there's something there
talking about being loyal to my clan, but I don't have one.
I'm not really sure what "So mote it be," means anyway. I
think I can adjust it a little here and there, but there is
much to learn, and my brain is still new to taking in so
much knowledge.

It's like I keep saying: I have a thirst for knowledge, but
my memory, and my overall physical abilities don't keep up.
What's the point of learning anyway if I'll just forget it?

I won't loose faith though. I have to keep up, but it's
just so hard. I can't comprehend this or that. I still
don't know how much of what am I suppose to have.
For example: Candles. I need 4 of 4 different colors for
the calling of the quarters, then I need an additional 3
for the spell itself, and 1 representing myself. I think
I'm gonna make that one a skull. (It is said to represent
the improvement of the mind, which is exactly what I'm
trying to accomplish.) Other then that, all these things
need to have different colors. The 4 candles for the
quarters will all be different colors, I don't remember
which ones exactly. The other 3 candles must be purple, and
I think I'll be looking for a red or brown skull. I think
that that's gonna be hard to find. Plus I gotta get some
incense. Of the proper scent. Also Dragon's blood oil or
cinnamon oil.
Just for the hell of it I think I might add some Lilac's
and pherhaps some purple cloth throughout the room. Maybe
even a crystal to be energized with the positive energy.

So much preperations. So much to buy. Good thing I have a
$100 saved up for college (or things to help with my
education in all.) The worst thing to prepare for will most
definatly be getting peace and quiet during the same time
for 3 days consecutively.

Another problem, summer school. I'm still not registered
and school is out. I don't apply to many schools because
they are either full, don't accept outsiders, or have only
one class to offer per day. I need to take 2 semesters of 2
different classes during the same semester. Damn this
bites. Plus I still gotta beg my (deadbeat) dad for cash as
though it would be just cash to blow off on painting nails
or something. On that note, toodles!!!


P.S. I wrote you a letter too Stitch, I just gotta buy a
Stamp. It's not my usual writing style. You will be
surprised. Oh, and pay no attention to the back.