lilstar4236

anywhere but here
2002-06-25 02:24:44 (UTC)

i shouldnt be crying. but i am...

i shouldnt be crying. but i am. i am sitting here like a
little fucking baby with tears running down my face. i feel
so pathetic. i miss justin so incredibly much. i dont even
know why. hes been gone this long before. i dealt with it
then. why cant i deal with it now? i miss his voice. i just
want to hear him say i love you...just once. i would be ok
then. i play the message on the answering machine from june
7th almost every nite. happy birthday and i love you. and
now its just making me cry even more. its not fair. i hate
this. i hate all of it. why does he have to go. why cant
this fucking country of bosnia take carre of itself instead
of taking other people from their families and friends. its
not our problem over there. why did we have to make it our
problem?!?! i dont understand that at all. he cant even be
here when his child is born. i dont know how someone can
sit in their damn office with all their fucking money and
stay here in the US with their family and see their
children be born and go home to their wife after a long day
at work while they are sending innocent men over there to
do someone elses damn job. its just not right. i would give
up everything just to see him right now. just one time.
what if its the last time i would get to see him? the last
time i would get to say i love you and ill always love you?
none of this bullshit makes any sense to me at all. can
anyone PLEASE explain all of this to me!?




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