Dark Secrets
2002-06-25 01:59:10 (UTC)

My confuse mind !

Morning!, 9:49am, i didnt expect myself to wake up this
early. I slept pretty late last nite, and wanted today to
be a shorter day. What can i say? it's been 5 days, but
i'm still struggling through it, bearing and controlling
myself from breaking down, going bersek wanting him.

I woke up, realise that he is not up, thought abt the
things i will do, find it pretty the same, same old life,
then i get a little down, and inside, i told myself to
forget these unbearable thoughts. But, the other side of
me tells me, everyday is gonna be the same, what's life?
And, the other side will say, it's alrite, u gonna treat
everyday precious, and the other side will say....i miss

It's a struggle, cant U SEE? it's NEVER ENDING....what
should i really do? yes, i did try to move on , im trying,
sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesnt. I don't want him
to know that im so weak, moreover, ive told him that i
will try to be gd, try to treat myself with happiness and
be strong, i want to show him that i can, but at the same
time i dun want him to just forget abt the memories we
had, and so quickly he recover, or is he hiding his pain
from me too, i have no idea. I hope writing can make me
feel better. After throwing everything out, i want to
forget abt it, and be happy!