I'm a girl, not a band!!!
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2002-06-23 19:47:22 (UTC)

Deep thoughts

My best friend FINALLY decided to update her diary. This is an
interesting entry that she wrote. Then is my response to her. Just
some interesting thoughts-

(Her entry)
I've spent a lot of my time searching for deeper meaning in all
things, past and present. I wonder now if in doing that I've missed
it all together. Maybe searching with such intent has blinded me to
it. If a thouroughly uneventfull weekend can leave me feelin so at
peace with the world I can't help but wonder if there in lies the
point. Is it the realization that those things I thought I'd lost
all together may not be lost at all. Maybe the key is to see change
as it is, to stop fighting for control of things I can't possibly
control. To learn from it and accept it hands free. To stop fighting
for direction and start seeing whats around me. That things lost are
not usually truly lost, just changed, now unrecognizable when
searching for the past. Maybe if I stop searching and start living,
absorbing the change and observing what it brings with no pretences.
Maybe then I will find that what I thought was lost was there all
along waiting to be found.

(My response)
I know how you feel. You're just tired of fighting so
hard. With people, with life, with things that you can't
do anything about. I think for both of us, it's hard not
to be in control, because then we reliquish that control
to someone....anyone....the world. And when we don't have
that control, then we can't protect ourselves from hurt
and disappointment. And then we hurt. But with control we
can stand a step away, and not let people or life or
certain aspects of either in because we fear that we will
just crash emotionally. Wow, this is way deep for
me...wonder where it came from. I love you too.