Whats goin on
2001-06-22 04:52:13 (UTC)

All You Need IS LOVE??

Since my last entry about me and my girlfriends break up, I
have been listening to the beatles but mostly John Lennon.
He says All You Need Love
Love Is All You Need
Were is the love? I need love but I can't find it. Since
then I have been looking for lost love within myself and
found my ex in front of me, cuddling around my inner self,
while I stare at this lucky son of a gun, I feel lonely. Is
my brain telling me she is the one even though she fucked a
guy in a park restroom? Is that what I really need? Or do I
need to go back to my inner self and see if I get on to her
for this act of cheating and throw my attraction and love
for her away and start new? She was my first love, and I
hope not my last, even though I fear of marrage and having a
child with her, but I fear at having sex which would bring a
child if I am not to careful.. But I fear sex becuase of bad
choices people have made that I know about. I feel that if I
do have sex its with someone I want to marry, but at least
with my ex I made the right choice!!! She did this guy and I
didn't know about it til Kristy (Fellow masonry buddy's
girl, and Kristy is my exs cousin) told me that she found
out about it. She was mad that someone would do that to me
and lie about it to MY face. My girl had unprotected sex
with this guy and I could of got something if I was having
sex with her too. My trust was and is lost forever because
of it and I should look at this with caution because it
might happen again. That is the reason I fear relationships
is because I don't want sex and they can't accept that. If
they want it so bad why not masturbate so it would be safer
and they would still be loyal. Or just she could of just
told me and I would of worked it out with her. Why is it
when girls cheat its because of no sex in the relationship?
They must of kept to their self that they wanted better sex
but afaid to offend their mate because of it. Why can't some
girls tell their lover that they want more out of them, most
guys will listen but some are to stupid, and want what they
want. Its the guys fault for not listening to what the girl
wants because the guy is to concerned for his wants and then
cheats on her. Maybe no relationship is perfect... Then
again Mankind is the most flawed creature in god's own