faiien angei

a day in the life...
2002-06-21 05:25:18 (UTC)

much to paranoid....

i dont trust my live journal anymore...
just like i dont trust you.

nothing against you personally...you're just alive. i dont
trust anything that breathes. i hate you all and i want you
to die.

i want to be all alone for the rest of my life. i dont ever
want to see the light of day...the glare of the moon...i
just want seclusion from all that is.

i hate when i get like this...no one understands. no one
knows me. they just think they have a perception as to what
kind of a person i am...sweet...nice...happy.
if i'm so sweet, nice and happy...then why do i hate
everyone, treat myself like shit and am sitting here crying?
no one will ever know...no one will ever understand...

i need drugs. this isnt normal.

IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY.

i just want someone to be here with me to tell me that
everythign will be okay...that it's just a phase...that
i'll get over it...someone who will listen to me bitch
about exsistance...someone who will let me cry.

but no...no one is here and that's why i hate you all.
no one is ever there when i need them...
and no one ever needs me. so i guess we're even then...?

i miss my daddy...we're nearing the 5 year mark now...i
dont even know what day...maybe today...? maybe tomorrow?
maybe yesterday...but it doesnt matter because he's gone.
Your little angel is gonna be 21 next month and she misses
you terribly. she's not so little anymore...but she'll
always be your princess. she's sorry that she wasnt there
for you when you needed her but she was mad. you took her
sunshine away...when she finally got it back it blinded her
and she couldnt adjust to the brightness.