Ad 0:
2001-06-21 19:41:41 (UTC)

i havent wrote 4 wihle

well what can i say i think i am spiriling down agin i
need some one i can talk to some one who can relate is that
to much to ask for i dont know it is just that you can
frezz i moment and live in it for ever why? why can we not
have peace ful bliss i.......i dont know what i am doing
any more it is like i just want to stop for a moment and
have some time to breath or think i am so sick of people
trying to be not trendy becase that in itself is a trend
even being your self has become a trend there is no
avoiding it my friend once asked me what do you plan to do
with your life as i think about it more and more it is like
an important desition but none the less i dont care i just
think the thing i want to do is to help others like some
people have helped me i had i 6th gread teacher no one
really liked her becazes she was very picky about the work
she gave out one day she told us she was going to collage
to get a derregee in consling or something like that i
volunterred think well it is time out of calls and for that
time i got to know her i told her how i felt and about what
was going on that was 2 years before i started cutting my
self i think it has always helped me to talk to people
about my problems it gets them out and for a breif moment
no matter how short i am happy truly satifided with my self
and who i am that is a moment i want to live in most of my
friends dont know about my thoughts i dont want to trouble
them they think that the meds. are working i think they did
at first but now my body is like immune my body dose this
to ever med. i have ever take if i take asprian i need 4 to
get my headache gone i just dont know what is going on with
me any more i just think that i am slowly becomeing my mom
who i loth in every way susceptable to every thought that
a person thinks or speaks i think i am becomeing weak but i
cant let it happen i wont i will fight it i dont want to
end up like her there is no way in hell i will i want her
to look into my eyes right now and see all the pain and
suffering that she has caused me and every thing that she
has let slip bye it is not fair but no one said life was
take it as it comes that is all i can do now sit and watch
what happends

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