thoughts put into words
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2002-06-20 04:34:02 (UTC)

Distant premonition of a past reality

Distant premonition of a past reality = I just remembered I
had this diary, and I read my measly 4 entries and
remembered the hell I was going through during those.
Sorry to forget about you, diary, but I've been keeping a
steady diary in my head. And no one reads this anyways,
unless I give the site to someone. Oh well. Along with my
spider-webbed, almost-forgotten ritual of picking my brain
of the happenings most recent. Biggest happening - I got
in a wreck. It wasn't my fault but it destroyed my one
true love, my Jeep. I told my friend about the fact of how
miserable I was and how I cried only because the fact my
Jeep got squished, and they thought me to be psycho. Hm.
Excuse me. But I don't see that friend waiting tentatively
and readily in my garage every morning, energetic and
revved up to do my very bidding. My bidding was not to get
mowed over by a hillbilly, so maybe there was a small flaw
in our relationship. It wasn't Jeep's fault though so I'll
let it slide. I don't know. This sounds ridiculous,
sorry. But people are so fake, still. It's nice having
one constant in life, but when you lose that then you
really believe all hell is going to enclose you. :(
Remember that ex I spoke of? We haven't talked ever since
I broke up with him. Small conversations here and there
have amounted to nothing, and despite constant attempts,
they just never continue. I'm sorry to have lost touch but
I think he wanted it. It's a shame the world is too petty
to walk through hardships and try and piece together lives
again. My life is blank right now. Quite honestly one of
the bigger voids I've ever experienced. I have no strong
contact with anyone, I seem to be losing everyone..
Sometimes I want them away though because I'm so tired of
people's shit. I've picked up some bad habits to pass the
time. I've been told to quit but it hasn't happened yet.
Sorry. Maybe if I find something to complete me it will
all go away. HA YEAH RIGHT. So this was one of those long
rambling entries that I can do nothing about except
submit. hmmm...
Tip waitresses well, stupid moron old people.. you don't
realize how much hell we go through. Thank YOU.

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