Alma

What a Life
2002-06-20 01:57:41 (UTC)

I guess it wasn't the worst thing....

I believed i was going to be with my husband forever...but
as I said sometimes that is not the case...I am seperated
from my husband....March 19 2002
I left because I was dying slowly...People were
noticing...i went deeper and deeper into depression until
on night i slight my wrist.
I wanted to die, i was feeling so guilty for thinking of
leaving my husband but after that night...my husband and i
had another arguement and he mentioned angrily "com'n cut
your other wrist so you can get attenion" That was not my
intent...my intention was to die..not to live and hear him
torture me...
Nothing nice came out of his mouth..the tension between us
was stronger i seriously thought so many times to get my
357 revolver and shoot him...but i couldn't...i always
hoped everytime i walked to work that a car would hit me,
or that i wouldn't wake up the next night...or the house
would burn down with me inside....And i seriously doubt it
that he would even care....
I lost so much wait, becuase he would tell me i was fat...
Now i am feeling so wonderful with out him...i do feel bad
that i am 20 and about to be divorce but i know it's better
then being in my 20's and being unhappy...