Str8 Girl, Interrupted

Shambles...or so it seems!

Today my best friend of 4 years left for the summer. He
will not be back until September. I've never been apart
from him this long in 4 years. The goodbye was horrible.
Although, neither of us let the other see the tears, they
were there nevertheless. I'm sad. What am I gonna do with
myself? Even though, we fight alot and end up not speaking
for a week or two...it's never been this long. I'm scared
that I'm gonna go insane in this house. I'm sure Marc will
end up pulling further away. And what can I do about it?
Nothing. I'm forced to let him go...because of that stupid
saying..."if you love someone, let them go". I guess, it's
not stupid, but hurts. I've lost both of my best friends
in less than a month. It's weird. I thought I would never
loose them...but here I am....I'm lost.

Maybe things will get better, but I only predict the
worse. I have no more wishful thinking left. It's too
much to be chipper lately. I've slipped into a deep
depression which I share with no one. I know this is not
good...but who would I tell? I talk to Sonja...and for her
advise...I'm completely grateful, but I think I need
something more.

Who do I have left? Josh...I don't need to say anymore.
Yes, I know he loves me, but things between us will never
be the same.

Fucked up...is the only phrase on my mind. Fucked up
life...Fucked up.