psychomagnet

sleeptodreamher
2002-06-19 21:59:43 (UTC)

im going to turn and walk away

you can watch me go or you can make me stay.

my mother just told me we have until july 31 to be out of
here. basically i have 5 weeks to find and move into an
apartment on my own. i dont have the money. at all.
thats no time to even find somewhere. and they dont want me
to come with them. and im afraid that if i did, it would
be one more thing to hate myselfor making that mistake...
should i go out by ucf, where its cheaper, far away from
him, start over... or should i stay... in hopes that
somewhere inside him... how stupid am i.. to even consider
that.. i guess i'll see what the difference is between
staying and going.. im not too proud to talk to dave.. and
ask him if theres a higher paying position available. i'll
need it anyway.. and i need to find another job. im very
numb right now.. i just cut.. i wonder if he'll really call
me at 9.. i hate him so much sometimes.. i think im guna
take a shower before i go out..