Visions Of Life
2002-06-19 15:15:03 (UTC)

Escape- An Anti Poem

Moods are starting to cycle again.. Went from being giggly
to crying in 5 seconds and today i am sad and pissed and I
dont know what else.. Perhaps rebellious.. Against who
remains a mystery since I dont really have an authoritative
figure in my life right now...

Got my first depo shot.. We'll see how that goes... My arm
hurts and my period might be freaking out. It needs to end
by friday.. lol

My birthday is friday!!! I wanna party all weekend! Get
some kahlua, tequila rose, apple pucker and wine coolers,
some chipotle (lol), some Children of the Corn movies, go
dancing, go to my bondage club, play Mortal Kombat (i am
the champion. I rock), make love with my boyfriend (just
shush... lol.. i hate that phrase but its what i want), i
dont even know what else I wanna do. lol. Im boring. And I
swallowed my tongue ring.. lol. But sleep will be out of
the question this weekend. I have to see my dad like on
at.. yuck... do somethig with moi family like on sunday and
i hope my boyfriend goes cuz if he doesnt, im going to be

I need to fish. I need to swim.

From behind these jaded walls
Shackles made of love
Promises in the mind
So wild within myself
Like an untamed cobra
Striking out
Trying to extract you from my life
Circling in
Freedom is just illusion
Happiness, a game in mind
Lost eternally
In this world we call ours
Looking for the exit
Content in your arms

I hate this! Am I happy or am I sad? I just dont know. This
job situation is killing me. I need to hide out till like
4:30.. I am restless. I am aggitated. I hate my fucking
reproductive system. Rah! I love him. I am distant today.
Hiding. Lost in my world but don't want to be found. Its
safer that way.