Casey

My life
2002-06-19 12:16:05 (UTC)

*.**The Neighbor has Affect on Me**.*

lately i havent had a chance to just write by myself bc
people are always running in and out of my house and things
are changing SO quick right now. ok well danny is getting
on my last nerve, that boy needs to understand that he isnt
in love with me, he dosetn even know what love is!! its so
damn annoying! i mean i know how he feels but still. well
me and emily are like best friends now, shes all telling me
how next year me n alex are goign to be hanging out with
her group next year, and ya im cool with taht and all, and
i knwo that all my friends are going to get all pissed off
bc of it, but u know none of them call me to ever do
somethign, emilys the one always calling me up to chill are
whatever. i dotn know its all gay. i miss brant so much, i
want to get over him so bad, its like my goal, i mean on
saturday its going to be the FORTH freaking year that ive
liked him, im wasting my life, the past four years i could
have been with someone else instead im sticking to his
stupid ass waiting for him to come around when i knwo that
its never going to happen. emily told me shes going to get
me a boo..haha i wish.i want a guy, i want a relationship,
not one of this lil relationship shit kinda things ive had,
were we hook up, kiss, he goes up my shirt, fingers me good
bye, i want i love you's, talking all night, sneaking over,
going out, his best friend be troy and emily is dateing
troy. and i want a REAL physical relationship, i mean im a
sophmore and ive never been eaten out, are had sex, dont
want to do that yet.....are given head. how freaking
pathedic is that? i mean i know that ive had chances and
all and i havent taken them but i mean come on i could have
atleast done it once. and im scared to go out w/ oen of
these black guys and give them head and suck at it, but i
mean now its not like you just start going out with them. u
talk to them first, and i mean it gets to the point when u
talk about things uve done in the past, and im not going to
lie, ill tell him wat ive done. but neways, i feel like
this summer ive grown a lot, i mean last summer it was
tuesday and i couldnt wait for Friday to come so that i
could go skating..haha..and now i want to go do something
else, i want to get away from that place. i love it to
death and i have sum memories there with brant, matt,
danny, everyone, but those are all people that i need to
get away from, people that are keeping me back from having
the kind of life that ive wanted for A LONG ASS TIME i want
to have fun. i want to be a teen-ager. i dont want to get
in trouble, and i'll be smart about things, but i know that
i can have fun and not get in trouble. im not turning into
a lil hoe, im not having sex, im saying that now and img
oing to read this part everday IM NOT GOING TO HAVE SEX
WITH ANYONE NO MATTER HOW DRUNK, STONED, HORNY, PISSED OFF
I AM, I WONT UNLESS I LOVE THE GUY SO MUCH. plus emil wont
let me..haha...uhh but then again half of me dosent want to
do it and go out and forget about brant, i cant even earse
my profile...here it is....


Member Name: .:Casey:.
Location: .:Gulf Breeze.:
.*.Sumtimes we must get hurt n order 2 grow; we must fail n
order 2 no .Sometimes r vision clear only after r eyes r
washed away w/ tears.: .:That dosent always mean we always
follow it.:
Sex: Female
Marital Status: .:Luvin one Crushin on One.:
Hobbies: .:Chillin with my Best.: .:Going to
Seville.: .:Having people over.: Aimz* hey grl i miss u
bff* *Rachel* Your my best friend* *Marissa* Remember the
good times, bff* *Chelc* luv ya faith bff* *Emil* hey
cracker ur my bff i mean i mean ya ur my bff haha*
Computers: Brant-My heart was taken by u...breaken by
u...and now it is n pieces because of u!! But no matter wat
i do i still love u!!!!
Occupation: SoPhMoRe Danny Ur my Best friend i hope u
know that i dont want 2 hurt u i luv u 2 much do that and
sayn yes could hurt,iluvu!
Personal Quote: .:Alexz.: Hey pussycat your my best friend
and u know it. thanks for everything.: .*. I've learned
that when times get hard n all u can do is look aroudn @
the ppl u luv and the 1 person u luv for comfort.even if
all they want is to be Best friends.*.

i cant even earase what i wrote to him. thats how much love
i have for him. and i mean no1 understands, i dont tell
anyone anymore.i dont know i think that if i keep it inside
then maybe they will all go away....i also feel like since
brant dosent love me no one else can. i dont knwo its so
hard on me now. i just want to get w/ a guy and forget,
about him.....i dont knwo. ijust want to forget and have a
b/f i really love, more than brant, i dont think that could
ever happen. but hey i can hope right? yea i can. wlel im
gonna go, wb later..luv ya
casey




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