Realizations of a 24yr old convict
2002-06-19 11:13:18 (UTC)

off center

So I guess I got sick doesnt really seem so biut fuck Im so
off centerI was contemplating starting to drive again
havent been working out latley but you know with what I eat
Two paclks camel non filters cup of starbucks mabe a bpj
with out the J oh and what ever I though in the over from
the freezer when I get home yeah that about wraps it up.
so I work my job and maybe throw some push ups down
anyways I was looking in the mirror today and fuck I love
the way I look right now. everything just cut up seriously
2 percent body fat maybe.
What the point oh yeah off center fuck I was straight zen
for so long and latley you know just fucking lost it...
And I was thinking maybe Id get back to some meditation or
maybe even break the schedule up for some time for so yoga
but then I was thinking what the fuck is that I might as
well take a fat bong load its all the same just some breif
retreat from it all or maybe just smash somebody I was
really think today about just smashing this guys head off
the pavemant then it move to this big dude and I thought
now that would be fun right there maybe Id go home and
nurse my wounds and feel alive. Just changing the whole
fucking seems strange how perspectives changes after any of
these events Ive mentioned. say Im getting out there not
really just change in the view you know its really all about
just not being happy with our lives we all do it what ever
it may be...
Whats the point here it is when I move from what I do at
this point to what I think is right Im a pretty good dude
as is belive what you like but if you knew me you like most
would have to agree Im a pretty soild cat and a good person
to have in your lives... But heres where it goes wrong if I
take a moment and really think about whats right and try to
put it into action then things just fall apart.
GOOD intentions BAD outcomes
then it leads me to think whats with doing right if it only
leads me to being frustrated and leading others to being
mad or hurt or what have you. Its not some I sleep better
at night warm cushy feeling cause I dont seem to have that
I could be laid up with shel and smelling her hair and just
sleep content what the fuck is this...
5 perfect ones all part of my life Im content and there
content and what the happens I come down with some sorta
right wrong type thoughts and fuck it up fuck this.
so weve moved a new group in what now it plays out and
later we walk the same path.......
we enjoy our days and smiles and the touch and fucking
start to contemplate what it is and were fucked.

Maybe thats it maybe I know thats it just cant contemplate
it just gotta live it enjoy it smell it taste it kiss it.

Thats it for now
Stay positive