Nicci

trapped with no way out
2002-06-19 01:24:02 (UTC)

7-18-02

hey it was another boring day of my life AGAIN. damnit why
cant anything exciting happen? well granny's in the
hospital. what a surprise. she has sumthin wrong with her
lungs and pancrious... whatever that means. but she's gonna
be be fine. she's actin like she's gonna die though lol.
its kinda funny that popop wont go c her lol. well i didnt
talk to chris last night... bummer.. oh well... my sister
said he didnt call me cuz he was in a pissy mood cuz him
and his lil brother locked the babysitter out cuz they
didnt like her lol. it was kinda funny lol. i feel so bad
for my sister... her teeth hurts so bad :( i just wish i
could take it. cuz she was really bitchy today cuz of her
teeth. if she could give me the pain i would take it. im
still really confused about rob and chris thing. like i
feel bad when i tell rob my feelings cuz of chris.... and i
REALLY like chris.. i dont really think im in LOVE with
rob.. i think i just like him. to tell ya the truth when he
calls me i can never tell him i love him. but then the
other day when he told me he didnt love me any more i felt
REALLY bad and i cried.. and damnit... i just wanna talk to
him about it. im cryin again. man why do i cry over him? i
told myself guys arnt worth cryin over but then i go and
cry over him. i never have cried over a guy. i usually
laugh about it. do you think i realy loved him? ERR SOMEONE
HELP! i need sumone to talk to... sumone who went threw
this. i never actually went out with rob though. damnit! i
need fuckin answers im so confused. why would he not love
me any more? damnit im so confused and heart broken.. but i
have to be strong... just think i have chris :) thats
always a good thing right? of course he's chris i like him
and he likes me.. probably not as much as i like him but he
likkes me lol. i just wish i was still little and still
thought boys had cooties. it was alot easier when guyz were
just friends and we could play football and not worry about
how dirty we got how we looked and what time of the month
it was. wow teenage years are confusing. and i have to get
these freakin 130 doller sneakers for my knee and my dad
wont buy them! i told him and he goes "wow thats great im
not gonna get them there to much" dmanit... and then he
yells at me when i tell him my knee hurts. it makes me mad
sumtimes. me and my mom got along today.. havnt got in a
fight with her all day... knock on wood lol. i have to go
to physical thearopy tomorrow. i hate it cuz i have to get
up early. but the physical theaorpist lady is very nice to
me. she's pretty cool. i just wish they were a lil later
lol. hopefully my mom will make them later next week lol. i
got a new job... babysitting alexa while my g mom is in the
hospital... my mom says she pays 20 dollers a day... better
then the 10 im gettin from brandy lol. and i have to watch
eric every day too. good i guess... im getting money...
hopefully i will get some money before are trip... hehe i
hopeare trip is fun.. i dont think i can write in you for
like two weeks then. oh well. i odnt think the ppl who read
this will miss my screwed up life any wayz lol. well i g2g
byez

xoxoxo
nicci




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