camicazy

Meshed Up
2002-06-18 16:55:11 (UTC)

free flow

so many emotions in one night.

tears.
falling.
stumbling.
uncontrollable.

pain... is inevitable in everything we do. you're right.
you're right.

i would rather be hurt than be the one who hurts.
i would rather die than kill.
i would rather be shattered than break.

my mind....working..twisting.. i've hurt people so much and
i don't know what to do to make things right.

how i wish they would just hurt me instead. this feeling of
helplessness..of being responsible for pain and tears
is...depressing.

dreams. i wanna sleep and wake up and find out that
everything is all right.

i wanna wake up and not see the trail that i have left
behind.

don't say you love me
unless forever
don't tell me you need me
if you're not gonna stay
don't give me this feeling
i'll only believe it
make it real
or take it all away

someone must be singing this at this very moment.

and i'm sorry...for all the wrongs i have done. planets of
regret on my shoulders. how do i go back and make things
right?

my hell is making others cry.
my hell is hurting others again and again.
my hell is being responsible for pain and grief.
my hell is breaking others and not being able to do
anything about it.

'don't think about what you've done. think about what you
will do.'

i do not want to make the wrong choice. nor do i want to do
something i will regret later in life.

i need....
wisdom
strength
the power to understand
the power to forget
the power to detach
the power to unfeel.

he is important to her when he understands her.

find a way to make it right.