Unholy and Dirty and Beautiful Me
2002-06-18 05:34:50 (UTC)

rainy days

I'm not a big fan of the heat so the rain we've been
having over the past few days actually makes me happy. It's
almost summer, I can't believe that. Wow.

I don't have a lot to say today, I'm just here because i'm
here. I'm finishing my beer & smoke then i'm off to sleep.

A friend of mine left for a supposed 2 mos today, she left
behind her amazingly good looking & sweet boyfriend who she
cheats on all of the time and it makes me so mad. It's not
fair, he is such a great guy and yet he puts up with her.
If she wasn't such an old friend of mine and such a solid
link to a portion of my social circle I would run over
there right now and see him. She doesn't know when she's
coming back and secretly I hope she never does. That way I
can swoop in and scoop him up before she destroys him. I
fantasized about him all of last night and today and I just
know he's sleeping in that bed alone tonight, probably
missing her. I'd love to go there and see him. I should
have left something really important there so that I could.
I will play the game in my head, but I'd never do anything.
He's so good, why is he with her? I don't think he
realises how good he is because apparently he KNOWS about
what she does and yet he is with her. I don't know him
well, obviously or I'd go see him, but I can't because that
would just be weird.

So yeah.....every guy I'm hot for is either a drug addict
and/or an ex boyfriend, or someone else's man. This is so
shitty. I have no hope!!!!!!! I NEED to meet some new