The Boy Looked At Johnny
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2002-06-17 16:03:12 (UTC)

And let the rest remain

Is there anything that leaves you feeling emptier and less
fulfilled than a heavy-breathing face-sucking session with
a girl that you have no serious interest in? Is there
anything grosser and more pathetic than being centimeters
from somebody's face, and avoiding eye contact with them
just so you the whole event doesn't take on a more personal
significance? I am thinking, at this moment, the answers to
these questions are "no."

So, and Nicole last night. I really don't feel
good about it. At all. Casual, non-committal makeout 'n'
groping sessions are supposed to be the stuff of dreams,
the victimless, consensual kind where it's over, and you
leave with a wink and a nod and a "that was fun, we'll
still be friends." Yeah, well, if that's true, why do I
feel so repelled?

This whole thing was an absolute mistake, and the worst
part is, I knew going in that is was. It was a mistake
because I don't even like Nicole that much. There are
hundreds of girls in this world I care for much more
deeply, and yet she was the one slung acorss my bed last
night. It seems very wrong. I am going to have to think of
some way to counteract this and get my karma back in the

Rationally, I shouldn't feel like this. I mean, let's look
at the socrecard: no victims, no hurt feelings or emotional
pain, just a feeling of general yuckiness.


(Snappy, trite aphorisms that weren't so snappy and trite
when they occurred to me)

April: (1) Don't fall in love too fast, and (2) don't be so
sure when you do.

Roseanne: On the other hand, don't be TOO skeptical when
you do. Remember what you have.

Curious Orange: Just because a girl is on the rebound and
you seem to be holding her attention for the time being
doesn't mean you have a blank check. In fact, avoid
rebounds altogether. This is the one example of a lesson I
learned without any trouble, because C.O. just
paaaaaaaaassed me by eventually, and it was all for the

Kim: (1) Honesty is not always a two-way street; just
because you're honest with someone doesn't mean they're
going to be with you, and (2) don't drink and woo. Woo
first, then drink later, if you must, in a neutral

Lesli: Just because a girl likes you more than you like her,
that doesn't mean you have a blank check.

And finally, Nicole: Sex isn't that great if it isn't
attached to someone you care about.

Above all: pay attentions to your body parts: your gut is usually
right. Your brain is usually right. Your heart may or may not be
right, but is most likely confused. Your dick is almost always wrong.