My Life
2001-06-20 12:38:13 (UTC)

Huh...square one I guess

Dear Dairy,
Tehe I feel so corny. Dear Dairy....hehe. O well. I'm not
exactly sure how to have a diary. I mean, I usually have a
journal, but I just scriblble and write thoughts of insight
and shit like that. So....huh...I dunno. A guess a diary is
a place where you record your thoughts and feelings. Right
now I am thinking that diarys are strange, and I am feeling
pretty good. Actually, I should say really good compared to
how I am used to feeling. I will be 18 soon, and I feel like
I am finally getting my life straight, and my head together.
I stoped doing major drugs (such as acid and herion mostly,
but basicly any thing that I could get my hands on), I mean,
I still smoke weed sometimes, but not like every single day
all day like I used to, and I don't need it, I'm cool with
or with out it. I stopped cutting myself, sometimes I still
have the urges but I try to calm myself and talk myself out
of it. If none of that works, I just try to find a quiet
place where I can be alone, away from anything that I could
use to hurt myself, to cry or whatever and wait for the urge
to pass. I'll sit somewhere all day if I have to. And I
stopped my sexual addiction. That makes me feel really good
about myself. I actually taught myself some morals, values,
and disipline. I have been practing abstinence for like two
months, which is the longest time I've ever gone with out
sex. And its like I don't even want sex, cause if there is
no love behind it then the sex is no good. And I started
school. I am in the job corps program. I am taking my Ged
and then I am going to go into college. So I am really proud
of myself for all the recent changes I have made in my life.
Meditation and yoga helped me very much to get over my pain
and my problems and move on with me life (about time.) Shit.
bell rang. Get back to you later.