my own escape
Ad 3:
2001-06-20 02:30:37 (UTC)


shit man. how shitty does shit have to get around here?
Okay so i wake up sunday to my dad draggin me outta bed to
eat with him. okay so my hung over ass slowly makes it to
the kitchen where a nice bowl of cereal awaits me. I have
my glass of orange juice and a few bites down before i
realize something is amiss. "where's mom?", is what i
asked. The answer, well, its not what i expected. "well,
she had to go to new york again. Franni died." Damn.

Imagine hearing that first thing after an all night
drinking binge.

She died june16, 2001. She had a massive heart attack and
died by herself in the kitchen. Tedy-bear, as i like to
call him, was with virginia & co. He found her. His heart
broke. its all way too much.

So- we, alli, dad, cuz christine and i pile into the camry
and make the 4 hour ride up to new york. Once there we see
all the same people we saw exactly one month ago to the the
date. First it was granda. Now its frani. whose next?

i saw her. it was an open casket. I SAW HER. but it wasnt
even her. it was her body no doubt but in no way shape or
form wasit the beautiful aunt sister mother daughter wife
cousin friend we all knew and loved so much.
i touched her. Her skin was hard and tough, kinda like a
wax figure. Oh, it so wasnt even her!!!!!!!
it hurts remembering how she looked even today as we buried
her body to become once again part of the earth. ("Dust to
dust--ashes to ashes")
oh, franni, fuck does this suck for us down here.