Erica

The Confusion That I Call My Lif
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2000-10-23 03:28:10 (UTC)

You know what, I realy wish..

You know what, I realy wish that you could edit old enteries...oh
well, I guess I'll live...

I ended the last entery by saying that how I had ended the
conversation with him, but I never realy got into how I felt about
the whole thing.

I don't realy know why, but I realy liked/like him... There is just
something very desierable about him...I want him in my life...more as
a friend than anything else...friends seem to last longer than
boyfriends. And if he does decide to keep talking to me (which I hope
he does) I will keep it on a just friend basis for a good long while
before I even concider anything more with him.

You know what he asked me? He asked me if I regreted it and if I
would do it agian. I think that he ment if I could re-live it would
I. You know what, I don't regret it, because I can garentee you that
I'll never lie about my age again...and I'll never have sex with
someone that I don't realy know again...it only takes once to figure
out if you liked the results the first time, and I most certainly did
not...

I don't know...there is a part of me that would rather him not
continue to talk to me...it would be easier to just move on and
forget the whole thing and just move on with my life. But there is a
bigger part of me that longs for him to be a part of my life. The
weird thing is that I don't know why...I don't realy even know this
guy.

He looks like a guy who is in a popular tv show, and I have been
watching that show sence the first episode aired, and he (the actor)
is in a realy good movie...and I use to work at a movie theator and
we get the posters after the movie leaves, and it just so happens
that I have the poster from the movie that he was in on my wall in my
room...I don't know, it just seems like every where I turn there is
something that reminds me of him.

I also saw him in the mall the other day while I was buying thing for
homecomming, and I almost pissed my pants. He said that he didn't see
me...I could have swarn that he did, but what can I do other than
take his word for it?

I don't know, I guess I'll just lay this into God's hands and trust
what he does with it as the best thing for my soal.


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