Lisa Ann

Ups & Downs
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2001-06-19 20:04:10 (UTC)

It's been a while

It has been a while since I have last written in my
diary, and honestly I don't know where to start...
Life has definatly been treating me well, and I know I
am blessed. My uncle who was diagnosed with Cancer, not to
long ago beat the odds and battled it with dignaty and
confidence. My family is full of competition and for that
day he shined so much brighter than all of us, when he had
so little to offer and not to mention was addicted to
alcohol much of his life. He is sober now, andI looked up
to him for those two hours before he went into the
emergency room when there was a great chance at not coming
out, and I remember his words. "I'll see you all later,
and I expect a big dinner when I come out because I'm
starving! (He put on his headphones) Now I expect someone
to come in and hit play every hour because I want to listen
to my SlipNot when I am recovering." He might not have all
that much to offer money wise, but if everyone had the
confidence that he held, the world would be such a better
place. My uncle is a awesome guy who will rock on forever!
The love of my life is in Germany right now staying at
a freinds house. Her name is Sophia, my boyfriends name is
Matthew. He called me yesterday and told me that he was
having the best time and said, "I haven't laid down one
night without the thought of you in my mind, and not one
time did I look at the beauty of Berlin and find it as
beautiful as you, because it frails to your beauty." I
wanted to cry, and I did. I love him so much, and I know I
want to spend the rest of my life with him. I am only 18
and we have spoken about marriage. We want to both be
married at the age of 25, and engaged at 23/24 years of
age. However, it's so hard to wait for society's
standards, like getting correct college education and
financially settling down (which is what we both want) when
my heart just says "jump." I know that what will TRUELY
make me happy is being with him for the rest of my life. I
want so badly to ask him to marry me, and it seems to want
to roll off my tongue every time we speak, but I just can't
do it. i don't even know if I should. I am so~ confused!
Ok, well all of you take care