loveablechick

Nicky's World
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2002-06-14 18:22:08 (UTC)

hurting..

yeasterday was pretty good until we had to take andy home.
we yook andy home, brittani was still with us, and alison
and amanda were there. and they had a lot of alcohol there,
for amanda's going a way party. brittani saw it and then
she wanted to spend the night. i know the only reason she
wanted to stay is cause of that. she told me she was going
to stop drinking, but i guess she lied. it hurt me so bad
cause i knew what she was going to be doing. drinking and
getting high. i got in the car and tears started coming out
of my eyes. it hurt ti so much.

two weeks brfore camp. she called me and she had gotten so
drunk she called so if anything happend i would know. i
just don't get it. why? if you almost die from something
would you want to keep doing it. i think part of it was
cause she wants amanda and alison to like her. and the
other part is cause, i think, she's an alcoholic. i mean she
remindes me so much of my dad it's not funny.

i'm sick of people lieing to me! why say stuff if your not
going to keep your word? i don't understand why everyone
thinks that lieing doesn't hurt. it's like 'oh nicky will
be okay i can tell her whatever i want and then not keep
my word and she'll still be my friend' it's like i don't
have feeling or something. i don't know what i'm going to
do. i mean i want to be friends but i don't know if i can.
i don't know if i can keep being close friends with her if
i can't even trust her. i really need to talk to someone.

i'm out.


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