Purple Coffee, Blue Monkies
2001-06-19 08:03:30 (UTC)


I know this doesn't make a lot of sense because I haven't
even finished my other one...but oh well, you'll live. I
have this thing with guys I guess. I dunno. I don't wanna
sound self-centered, cuz i'm not, but like I like guys, and
they like me. My mom thinks i'm boy crazy...I think i'm
merely growing up in the year 2001 as a healthy teen. I
mean, it's normal for chicks my age to love guys, right?
Sometimes it's a little too much though, even for me.


I don't know what to do about this boy. He's impossible. We
talk on the internet...we're cool. We talk on the fone, we
get into fights. It's confusing as all hell and it doesn't
get us any where. I'll be online, and he'll come on and be
like "call me". Then, if I can't call him, he gets all
pissed off. I just don't understand...he says that's what my
problem is. Is it me or does it seem really unfair?


Brent's like a brother to me. I've known him since the
beginning of the year and we've always gotten along. I gotta
admit that I did like him earlier on in the year. But not
anymore. Brent's probably the only guy that I could trust
sleeping. Well, considering he has a chick, it's not a big
problem. But i've been there by his side through thick and
thin...and him the same for me. I can still remember back in
the day when one of my teacher's made me cry and Brent went
and bitched at him. There were times like those that I was
glad to have someone like him...someone to watch out for me.
He's one of my closest friends...His mom's like a second mom
to me. When things aren't goin too swift with my mom, I can
always escape to Brent's house. His mom takes care of me
like i'm the daughter that she never had. It's kinda nice to
know that when the rest of the world doesn't give a shit
about you...there's still someone there.

-Simone (Simon)

Simone, Simone, Simone. Now there is one guy that will never
EVER stop lookin good. I guess I can't really think about
him that way now, considering he's like a brother to me too,
but hell, it's not my fault he's fine. He can always make me
laugh, and he's a shoulder to cry on. A long, long time ago,
I remember coming up to him, crying my eyes out because he
didn't approve of some guy I was going out with. I guess
then he realized how much he actually did mean to me. I
think maybe I could trust myself fast asleep with Simone as
long as he wasn't high or drunk. Yea...i'm pretty sure. He's
another one to look out for me. My brother moved back to
Pennsylvania in like September?? And it seems like since
then, i've found other people as sort of replacements. I
dunno how to word it without making it sound wrong. Simone
and Brent are like my brother Danny in a lot of ways. Brent
more than Simone and Simone sometimes more than Brent. Those
guys are sometimes better than my real family is. They
understand things. Simone once told me that I was like a
little bunny, cuz i'm so fragile...I might break if someone
squeezed too hard. But yet i'm strong too.


I don't know what to say about this guy. He confuses me a
lot. Sometimes he appears so cold...I can't stand it. Other
times he's so sweet. He claims he doesn't know what sweet
is. Here's my definition of sweet: someone who'll hold you
when you need it...someone who'll kiss the top of your head
as a simple gesture of love...But then again, he's been
through a lot, and I don't even know the half of it. Brian's
one of those types of guys that's not real big on sharing know? Sometimes he gets me so pissed off by
flirting with my friends...he doesn't even have a clue how
bad I feel. Then again...what's it really matter anyways you
know? I mean, who says that anythings gonna happen between
us...but who says theres not? I, personally, want there to
be, but not for the fact of having a boyfriend. Trust me, if
you could be super close without being somebody's
girlfriend...i'd have it made. I know this may sound weird,
considering i'm 14 and he's 19 (?), but like, I have this
incredible need to take care of him. He's like how I
am...the wounded puppy type. I mean, maybe i'm just feeling
what i've felt so many times before...a simple month-love.
But maybe i'm not. No matter what, I wanna always be there
for him...if he's willing. This must sound incredibly odd to
you...It's starting to sound weird to me.
Sometimes...sometimes he makes me feel so happy and like it
feels really really right to be curled up in his arms. He
can be insensitive sometimes...but I don't blame him. I
don't know what's gone on in his past, and I don't know if I
ever will. He insists on flirting with all friends, as I
have said before. It makes me wonder if he just does it to
piss me off, or if he actually means it. I think he enjoys
seeing me get all jealous over him. I don't know. He's like
one of those 4000 piece jigsaw puzzles that are impossible
to put together unless if the pieces are willing to go
together. I feel so stupid writing this, after knowing him
for only 6 days, but it's the way I feel. I'm a really
passionate person. I'm the type that's bound to house 50
million animals that are homeless when I get older. Anyways,
I got off the I boring you yet? I hope gotta a little while to go there buddy. I'm in
such a mushy mood tonight...I dunno what my problem is. I
think maybe i'm just hurtin a little bit over everything.

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