the life of me
June 9, 2002
bored bored bored... i'd call jackson, but he's probably
sleeping still. the seniors have this all night party thing
after class night... just to make sure that no one goes out
and does somethign stupid. like get pregnant, or drunk, or
dead. lol. it's a good idea i guess. last night was cool.
lol, get this... ok last year at class night russ and i
were both wearing yellow shirts... and we took a picture
and we were all 'hey look, we're twins.' and last night...
at class night, we were both wearing RED! lol. how weird is
that?! lol. yea and we talked about his boxers again. lol.
it's tradition. yea, so i sat w/ katie pallis, neha, smurf,
and nut last night. we had a blast. russ and deanne were a
couple rows behind us. i brought popcorn, russy ate like
half the bag. lol. dumb boy. i don't think deanne likes
me... i mean, i tried talking to her last night and she was
just like... starring at me and looking like she wanted to
get away. grrr... i want her to like me. i think i'm
getting over russ. i'm starting to really like jackson.
this is BAD. i mean really bad. what am i gonna do??? he's
leaving. i'm staying. sure we've got all summer... but
still. AHHH! i really REALLY like him though. like i always
wanna be with him. and when i'm not with him, i'm thinking
about him. he grabbed my hand on friday night... just to
drag me to the next person he had to talk to... but still.
*sigh* i hate having crushes on guys i can't have. i mean,
i could have him... buti CAN'T. that would be so aweful.
he's LEAVING! grrr... but it could work out if he stayed. i
know we'd work for each other. or maybe i just wish. *SIGH*
grrr... argh... i hate this. i like him so much. but i
still have a thing for russ and just GRRR! why does life
have to be so damn confusing?!? oh great, here's russy
online. now i'll like... HAVE to tell him about jackson. i
wish i could keep secrets from him. but then i don't. but
wait, i do have a secret from him... i like him... he
doesn't know that... i HOPE! ok, so i'm gonna go talk to
him and lissa now. bye bye.