tbx911

tbx911
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2002-06-13 22:31:16 (UTC)

Give the fire would before expecting heat

I heard a tale along those lines once that applies to
today's insight: something about a man in wintertime who
held wood in front of the fire and said "Give me heat and
I'll give you wood" -- the man froze to death.

While it sounds silly, that's what we do in our lives,
relationships and with goals. We must give and sacrifice
first, with no signs of reward for our efforts for quite
some time. Hopefully, the fire is well build and will grow
to give off the awaited heat.

Taking the Brakes Off – A Covered Misunderstanding
OK, so I have fixed my brain problems with 2 forms of
Neurofeedback, as proven by NeuroCognitive tests and a to-
be-done-soon SPECT scan #2. Probably more repair than
anyone alive has even experienced.

So, why have I still stood still in life? Today I might
have found a clue: While the hardware is repaired, the
software is rewiring itself, the general principles,
beliefs and foundations of my self, life, and self-esteem
need conscious attention to re-construction.

Through the morning I had the routine thoughts of “what if
this” and “if only that” and “I don’t want to do this”
nurturing a growing episode of feeling lonely, a loser and
stuck once again. I realized a lesson perhaps most learn
early and easier:
o I just decided to stay active and focused today,
doing to-do tasks, briskly without letting my brain
intercede with day dreams.
o Truly commit myself to whatever I do and am
choosing as a path. If I make a mistake, I’ll change it.
Better than standing still.
o The tough part of this one is, because the anterior
temporal lobes and F7andF8 we damaged or not used
functionally, I couldn’t keep a good comprehensive program
like this. I would tell myself SO many times the exact
thing I just typed, but not follow it. Hopefully now this
ever-growing strength of revitalized brain hardware and the
self-programming software it enables, is what is bringing
me to these conclusions again, supported by the primary
brain areas for this type of function, so a poor proxy
substitute.

Only time will tell.

A growing silent plea I have is "Please don't let these
exquisite and brilliant visions of what could be never find
the machinery to become real. If even one of them finds
life.

To be sure, I couple have come true. I simply need to keep
giving the fireplace wood, without meandering around
withing I had central heat, and know the heat will continue
to come.


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