Purple Coffee, Blue Monkies
2001-06-19 03:23:32 (UTC)

Home Sweet Home do I start this out? Ummm At the current moment
i'm living in Boca Raton, Florida. I'm on the fone with one
of my guy friends (hopefully more...i'll write about guys in
a different section). Well...I live with my mom, this guy
named Chris, this chick named Kelly and umm 4 birds, a duck,
a cat, and a hamster. I'm not really sure what to
write...i'm kinda awkward at doing this. Are you people
really gonna read this? OMG! DONT TOUCH ME THERE! ::cough::
so umm yea. (lol) I guess i'll tell you about myself...

I'm about 5'1...brown hair...brown eyes. I live to be
crazy...sometimes too crazy and that shit gets me into
trouble. But once again, that's a whole nother story in
itself :) Wow...I just realized exactly how many more words
I would hafta type in order to reach the bottom of this
thing. That's not cool. Sorry...I can't be serious. Well, I
can, but I choose not to be. That's not the way I wanna live
my life. I like to make people laugh. I'll write more
later...Kelly's gonna put me to sleep with her FANTASTIC
back rub/massage things. Later!

Ok well, back to the basics. I grew up in a pretty dysfunctional family. I mean, my brothers were ok...but the parents...they were a
completely different story. They ended up getting divorced in ‘98. I feel sorta bad but not really. It was for the best anyway. Frankly, I
was happy to get my dad basically outta my life. My mom was ok I guess, I could handle her to a degree. There were still some
nights though where I didn't even bother coming home, I didn't wanna face my mom. It's ok, she didn't really worry. I was street-wise at
age 6. I had to be in order to survive a world like mine. I mean, she always acted like she was the best mom, but naw, not really.
She's a pain in the ass. Truly she is. Most kids just say that because they don't like their mom, i'm telling the truth by saying it.

The other night I was watching this movie called "Hanging Up." In it, the daughters were very close to their fathers. I found myself near
to tears. I kept wondering over and over "Why can't I have that with my dad??" It just doesn't seem fair sometimes. I can't say I miss
him though. I do, but I don't. I got an email from him a while ago and he was commenting on how I never call him or email him or
anything. I commented right back by saying that the only reason I don't is because he's a flaming asshole. He's arrogant beyond
Boca. He's such a fake too. I believe that he spends most of his life trying to fit in, and not being himself. It's utterly disgusting. He's
such a fake. I've learned just to be myself. How am I supposed to be comfortable around him if he isn't even comfortable around
himself?? I don't understand it. I don't think I ever will...but hell...I don't really want to anyway. If he was to die tomorrow, I can't say
that I wouldn't be sad because I would. Like, he's my dad...I can't just not feel sad. But i'm not really gonna miss him that much. I
know i'm being really cold right now and everything, but it's the truth. I'm not usually like this. Personally, I think that i'm a very caring
and understanding chick....just not with my dad. I'm kinda leading you on in a way because you have no idea what has happened in
the past. You probably never will. I'm just explaining the basic facts.