Cath

my so called life
2002-06-12 20:48:34 (UTC)

I miss you

To see you when I wake up
is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same,
as I do,
is a three fold utopian dream.
You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said,
I miss you?

I see your picture, I smell your skin on the empty pillow
next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days, but already I'm wasting
away.
I know I'll see you again
whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care
and I miss you.

Ok, Ben has only been gone like ten HOURS, but I miss him.
I talked to him on the phone an hour ago, and I'll see him
at school tomorrow. Yet I miss him. I wanna be with him all
the time. I wanna be so close to him. I don't know how the
hell I'll survive next year. A whole year apart!! :(((
We'll probably see eachother like five times during the
year.. oh my oh my :(((
Yesterday was PERFECT. Oh my god!
Silvia called and we went fishing for crabs. It was Silvia,
Tiff, Evan, Bella, Lucy, Geri, Pete, Ally, Ron and like ten
more people from school. It was nice. Ben was playing a
soccer match, so he didn't come till later. When we got
there, the weather was really nice, but later the wind was
rising and it got colder. So I was glad when Ben came to
keep me warm. Lucy and I made a bonfire, it was very cosy.
Ben held me close the whole night, we've got this world of
our own.. He asked if I wanted to spend the night at his
place, and I did. The whole time at the bonfire, I was
thinking oh my god, he's so sweet. He tried to keep me warm
and kept asking if I was comfortable. He lend me his hood.
It looked kind of silly since he was wearing the jacket the
hood was connected to :D But it was very cosy :)
Around midnight we decided to go home. He had brought his
bike, and he let me ride it. He walked beside me. He is so
sweet! :))
I think maybe this night was the best night ever. It was so
perfect. We were supposed to go to school today, but we
didn't.. We stayed in bed instead :) I was stroking his
back and I wrote the word 'PERFECT' with my fingers. He
asked if I wrote something and made me write it two more
times before he got it. When he said 'perfect', I
said 'That's what you are'. He kissed me and said 'you're
the perfect one'. Sheese, we are so happy! :)
Ally said 'You are disgustingly happy'. And you know what,
we are. Everything is so great right now.. I've never been
this happy..
My mother says that I'm neglecting my friends.. But Geri
and Tiff have boyfriends too, and it's not my fault that
Lucy is acting so strangely.
Oh, yeah.. She cut her dreads off. She looked so different!
She hates it, but I think it's cool. So does everyone else.
It's just new to her..
I think that maybe I'll go to the health station tomorrow..
I'm going to aks for the pill.. Last night we had sex three
times and condoms are so dull.. He has to get out of bed
and stuff.. The pill would be much easier. And none of us
have had sex before, so we don't have to worry about
diseases.. I'm even tested for HIV.. negative of course :)
But I'm not sure if I'm going to do it, since he leaves in
two months. I can just stop taking it when he does, tho..
We'll see =)

We got a little world of our own
I'll tell you things that no one else knows
I let you in where no-one else goes
What am I doing without you
And all of the things I've been looking for
Have always been there outside of my door
And all of the time I'm looking for something new
What am I doing without you?


Huh? Like Westlife? MEE?? NOO WAY!! :P




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